Faceberg Continues To Grow In Spite of Itself

Comrade Faceberg

CNN tells us:

“Facebook posted $6.9B profit in Q4 2018. Facebook  “now has 1.52 billion people who use the social network every single day, and 2.32 billion who use it every month, both of which are up 9% from the year prior.”

I honestly don’t get it. Between the stories of Russia usurping our democracy using Facebook and all the other data-stealing/data-selling scandals, they continue to grow like a poisonous weed.

Or are they?

(Reliable Sources/CNN)

They are flat in North America, but growing in Asia-Pacific… and Russia. Oops!

The newest scandal is that Facebook paid Yutes of Today—some as young as 13—to install a “Facebook Research” VPN that lets the company suck in all of a user’s phone and web activity. Apple has kicked the Facebook Research app off of their iPhones BEFORE Faceberg could pull them off himself. It’s notable that the app is still on Android phones.

Apple is enjoying this accidental PR bonanza, as they continue to differentiate themselves from the rest of Silicon Valley as the protector of their user’s privacy. Apple’s CEO Tim Cook:

“We’re not going to traffic in your personal life. Privacy, to us, is a human right. It’s a civil liberty.”

That’s gonna leave a mark.

Faceberg was so pissed off after that, that he ordered his management team to only use Android phones. So that’s like what, 12 people?

Sick burn, Faceberg.


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6 Responses to Faceberg Continues To Grow In Spite of Itself

  1. Also Google’s prolly going to do the same, if only so that THEY’RE the only ones who get to ‘suck in all of a user’s phone and web activity’

    But Apple’s just as bad because they had a bug in Group Facetime that existed for 10 days.


  2. roket says:

    You will know false profits by their juggling.


  3. Karla says:

    I loved this SNL cold open where Laura Ingraham (Kate McKinnon) interviewed Faceberg. Especially the reason he was holding his arms like that.


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