The Days and Nights of Wilbur Ross, Man of the People

Daily Deals with Wilbur Ross…zzz

So it comes to pass on Day 34 of the Gubmint Shut-Show that someone in the 4th Reich said to themselves, “You know who could calm down the furloughed peasants? Wilbur Ross! He’s a Man of the People!”

And so they woke him up from his divan, where his 4K thread-count sheets slipped to the polished ebony floors with barely a whisper, and donning his Department of Commerce slippers, they carried Ross on a litter to address us.

Essentially he paraphrased his dear friend and classmate Marie Antoinette and suggested we enjoy some pastries if bread was out of reach:

“About 800,000 workers have been furloughed across roughly one-quarter of the federal government. Many have turned to unemployment assistance, food banks or other work to try to make ends meet.

“Asked about their struggles, Ross told CNBC, “I know they are, and I don’t really quite understand why.”

“The banks and the credit unions should be making credit available to them,” he said, noting that the government would give federal employees back pay. “There really is not a good excuse why there really should be a liquidity crisis.”

“True, the people might have to pay a little bit of interest. But the idea that it’s paycheck or zero is not a really valid idea,” Ross said.

Now, this is the same $700M Amero Wilbur Ross who spent much of his youth lying about his wealth to Forbes Magazine (because he was only nearly a billionaire and not a billionaire himself), robbing his business partners (as one does), and in a pinch thieving Sweet-n-Low from diners, etc., because why pay for anything when you can get it for free?

Including federal employees.

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14 Responses to The Days and Nights of Wilbur Ross, Man of the People

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Hey, now, gotta squeeze every cent out of the proles, even cents that the proles don’t have.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You know, if they only hired the Real Mr. Burns rather than these low rent Mr. Burns cosplayers we could have a competent evil government. “Release the hounds, Smithers!”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. FELINE MAMA says:

    So, he’s sayin’ here, “If you eat CN Soup and drink Bud, you can live as long as me, as ugly as me, as apathetic as me, as rich as me?!” Right, willy??. Well, I have Coors in the refrig. I guess I’m safe!!


    • MDavis says:

      I believe the context of the photo was tariffs – as in “steel tariffs will add only a nickel to each of these items, so don’t worry” – albeit totally missing the point of tariffs causing rising prices, lost customers and lost jobs. Et Cetera.


  4. donnah says:

    Oh, Wilbur. Fuck off, you old wrinkled scrotum of a subhuman being!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Holy shit. I just found a guy whose blog I link to is one of the furloughed Interior workers.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. osirisopto says:

    So now we know he owns stock in Payday Loans.

    Liked by 1 person

    • w3ski4me says:

      My thought exactly.. Sure, have them take out payday loans at what is it now, 450% interest? Oh, that will work so well for them.
      “Follow the Money”.


  7. osirisopto says:

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Jim says:

    Wilbur Ross once owned the Bank of Cyprus, a famous Russian money laundering operation. The only reason this useless octogenarian is “Commerce Secretary” is because he is connected to Trump, financially. He’s otherwise incompetent. Even his attempted sabotage of the 2020 census was probably organized by Stephen Miller from the WH.
    Also, for the record, what Marie Antoinette actually said was “If they have no bread let them eat brioche”. Of course, that’s just another kind of (yummy) bread but she was comparing it to the crude peasant bread, At that time, cake was not really a French thing (more German).


  9. Om Zern says:

    Wilbur Ross wealthy white trash . His day will come to pay for his greed. I hope I am able to see it. One of CNBC’s favorotes.


  10. purplehead says:

    Did you see nouveau riche Wilburrr Rosssss’ love of velvet slippers? Apparently some monogrammed with Dept of Commerce logo. Say, didn’t one of the recent popes love them red slippers, too? Why yes, yes Pope Benedict did.


  11. Pingback: The Shut-Show: Day 35 | Mock Paper Scissors

  12. mcdee says:

    So Wilbur wants the furloughed employees to effectively pay interest to banks for their own paychecks! Swine.

    Liked by 2 people

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