US Big Bidness Sees The Bright Side of Climate Change!

Eat the Rich

Prznint Stupid has a plan for Climate Change (Hat tip: Scissorhead D-Cap)

While it is undoubtedly true that global climate change is going to inflict untold pain on every living thing on this ol’ blue marble, we note with pride that American ingenuity wants to take that rainy day and suddenly make it seem worthwhile!

Bloomberg tells us the bright side in their story entitled, Corporate America Is Getting Ready to Monetize Climate Change
(Embolding mine):

“Climate change isn’t all downside for the largest U.S. companies. Many of those that filed reports with CDP, formerly known as the Carbon Disclosure Project, said they believe climate change can bolster demand for their products.

  • Alphabet Inc’s Google: “If customers value Google Earth Engine as a tool to examine the physical changes to the Earth’s natural resources and climate, this could result in increased customer loyalty or brand value,” Google wrote. “This opportunity driver could have a positive impact on our brands.”
  • Apple: “As people begin to experience severe weather events with greater frequency, we expect an increasing need for confidence and preparedness in the arena of personal safety and the well-being of loved ones,’’ the company wrote. Its mobile devices “can serve as a flashlight or a siren; they can provide first aid instructions; they can act as a radio; and they can be charged for many days via car batteries or even hand cranks.’’
  • Home Depot: “predicted that its ceiling fans and other appliances will see “higher demand should temperatures increase over time.”
  • Pill-popping Merck: “As the climate changes, there will be expanded markets for products for tropical and weather-related diseases including waterborne illness.”
  • America’s most hated bank, Wells Fargo: “preparation for and response to climate-change induced natural disasters result in greater construction, conservation, and other business activities,” adding that it “has the opportunity to provide financing to support these efforts.”

So turn that frown upside down, shareholders, the sky is literally the limit!

Oddly, when Bloomberg asked many of these companies for comments on the article, none accepted the opportunity.


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6 Responses to US Big Bidness Sees The Bright Side of Climate Change!

  1. Karla says:

    Do none of them see that trying to lessen climate change could be profitable too?
    Maybe their idea of great business models first require lots and lots of suffering, so that they have everyone by the short hairs. SMGDH


  2. 9thousandfeet says:

    The man had point, didn’t he, when he said that when it comes time to hang the last capitalists, they will “compete with each other to sell us the rope”.

    Liked by 4 people

    • tengrain says:

      I’m banking on the rope being free with purchase.




      • Dennis Cole says:

        Rope. Tree. Conscious-free Capitalist.
        Some assembly required.

        Hey, there’s no sense in letting a perfectly good crisis or catastrophe go to waste. If there’s a buck to be made off someone’s misfortune, (or even a whole PLANET’S), then someone will be there to cash in.


      • Dennis Cole says:

        Conscience. Conscience-free is what I meant to say.


  3. “Remember that the last joke is on you!”

    Liked by 2 people

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