The Shut-Show: More Helpful Hints From The 4th Reich!

Holla holla for a dollah!

Suze Orman they are not:

“Employees of the U.S. Coast Guard who are facing a long U.S. government shutdown just received a suggestion: To get by without pay, consider holding a garage sale, babysitting, dog-walking or serving as a ‘mystery shopper.’”

So I guess we can add those fundraising tips to the long list of hints for furloughed federal employees along with bartering for rent by offering to unclog toilets, paint properties,  and carpentry.

Have they considered turning tricks? Is prostitution right for you?

Oh, but this is sad:

“The suggestions were part of a five-page tip sheet published by the Coast Guard Support Program, an employee-assistance arm of the service often known as CG SUPRT. It is designated to offer Coast Guard members help with mental-health issues or other concerns about their lives, including financial wellness. ‘Bankruptcy is a last option,’ the document said.”

 

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7 Responses to The Shut-Show: More Helpful Hints From The 4th Reich!

  1. 100% of those ‘Mystery Shopper’ offers are scams. This is Peak Trumpism in action; suggesting following up on spam offers you get in your junk folder.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sirius Lunacy says:

    I’m doing my part. One of my friends is an air traffic controller, he’s working without pay at the moment. He’s also on my bar trivia team. The pub we compete at has pretty generous prizes. A coupon good for 1 free pizza or 1 bucket of beer for each round and $50 in gift cards to the overall winners. We put in extra effort to win this week so our friend would get to eat.

    Like

  3. MDavis says:

    Do we remember the McDonald’s budget tip sheet? These guys have hit some of those high points.
    Work for us, but get a second job in order to pay all your bills. And while you’re at it, calculate those bills at ridiculously low amounts when budgeting so it looks like you can pay them.
    Yeah, right babysitting – that covers both bases in one insult.

    Like

  4. robginchicago says:

    AYYYRRRRR! The Coast Guard can always turn to piracy (“privateers”) and then sell all the contraband, assets, and vessels seized to support their operations.

    Like

    • Buttemilk Sky says:

      Unfortunately it’s the civilian employees of the CG who are getting screwed. So maybe yeah, prostitution.

      You know other countries are taking up a collection to buy America mental health care.

      Like

  5. Bruce388 says:

    Has no one considered starting a church?

    Like

  6. Pyed says:

    How about just go in for confidence stings like Hair Fürer?

    Like

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