News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Right-wing commentator Uncle Ruckus, er, Jesse Lee Peterson is interviewed by white nationalist podcast host Jean-Francois Gariépy. Gariépy and Peterson agree that non-white people immigrating into the U.S. is making it harder for white people to live in America.


“ [The United States needs] to close the back door and the front door in this country and in Europe and clean up the mess and if you decide you want to let people of color in again, maybe you can be real selective—like they did in the good old days—about who you let it.”

But wait! There’s more!

“White people need to get married and have a truckload of white children and teach them on the right way to go so they can help save America and Europe because it’s not going to be saved by the people of color and will be destroyed.”

So what’s the solution, you ask (as did Gariépy), and Uncle Ruckus tells us his own plan:

“The good white folks are going to go to moon or somewhere else and they’re going to create another country, so I’m saving up my money so when white people build a spaceship and go out into space and build another country, I’m going to go with them and I’m going to be first to buy some of the land because I know the land is going to go up really fast. But unless white people take over, it’s over for America.”

I’m all in favor of sending Peterson to the moon, just as long as it is a one-way ticket.

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10 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. There’s stupid, there’s ‘REALLY stupid’, there’s ‘Drunken Frat Boy Stupid’, and there’s ‘Hold Mah Beer Stupid!’

    And now there’s Uncle Ruckus Stoopid…to top them all. “When all the white people leave the planet I’m going with them!”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stockholm Syndrome at its most acute.


  3. Pyed says:

    ” … maybe you can be real selective—like they did in the good old days—about who you let it.”

    You mean like in the days of Ellis Island, where, provided you had fifteen bucks and no communicable diseases, they let you in and quite often were in too much of a hurry to even take your name down correctly?

    Liked by 1 person

    • True story, my wife used to work for a guy named Mike Blank. Family lore was that Great Grandpa came over from Poland with one of those ’14 consonants, no vowels’ Polish names, and very VERY little English, and when told to fill in your name on the blank, well, he complied as best he could.

      Whether THAT tale is true or not isn’t known, but they did establish that the family name changed on passage through Ellis Island.


  4. Get Elon Musk to build that Ark B.


  5. roket says:

    1) American diversity shall not stand on the moon. Well, except for that one guy. C) I’m pretty sure that they will be speaking Chinese at the first moon colony.


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