Comrade Stupid Loves It When A Plan Comes Together

Apple dropped the bomb that it was cutting its revenue outlook by as much as $9 billion from estimates due to weaker demand in China.

The market reacted to Apple’s blood curdling, once-in-a-generation news with terror (seriously, since the second coming of Steve Jobs, has Apple ever announced anything this bad?), as you can imagine:

The Dow dropped 660 points, or 2.8%, on Thursday after Apple warned it will badly miss its quarterly sales forecast because of weakening growth and trade tensions in China.

Apple (AAPL), among the world’s most widely held stocks, plummeted 10% in its darkest day in six years. The former king of the stock market fell to the fourth-biggest public company, behind Amazon (AMZN), Microsoft (MSFT) and Alphabet (GOOGL).

The news sent shudders through global markets. The Nasdaq plunged 3%, closing back in bear market territory. The S&P 500 shed 2.5%, led lower by tech and industrial stocks. The market ended near the lows of the day.

But according to Kevin Hassett*, chairman of the White House’s Council of Economic Advisers (emphasis mine):

“There are a heck of a lot of U.S. companies that have a lot of sales in China that are basically going to be watching their earnings be downgraded … until we get a deal with China,” Hassett said on CNN. “It’s not going to be just Apple.”

In other words, it was Prznint Art-of-the-Deal’s totally sane, easy to win Trade Wars.

Now in a sane Administration 1) this would never be happening, and B) Hassert’s next words would be that they’ve seen the error of their ways and would change the policy, and beg for forgiveness and offer his resignation. This is NOT that administration, however.

Instead, Hassett said that Prznint Stupid’s policies, which are destroying corporate profits and the stock market investors, is the plan and all is well:

“However, Hassett said, “If we have a successful negotiation with China then Apple sales and everybody else’s sales will recover. But right now, China is feeling the blow of our tariffs.”

We all are feeling the blow, buddy, and it’s clear who is doing the blowing.

* Hassett is one of the co-authors of the laughable Dow 36,000 book which was published just as the Dot Bomb Crash destroyed the economy, so he is certainly qualified for this optimistic moment. Oddly, I couldn’t find a link to the book on Amazon. Go figure.

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12 Responses to Comrade Stupid Loves It When A Plan Comes Together

  1. Boris says:

    LUV the bump the DOW opened with today, totally based as it is on the magnificent increase in minimum wage jobs last month: An ~300K worth of them.

    Can you imagine how high the DOW would soar if an ~300K of $90K P/A additional jobs were created next month!?

    …wait. WHat? What do you mean the DOW would fall like a rock?

    I don’t understand…

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jim says:

      A large number of these jobs are in the “gig” economy and part-time work (no health benefits, retirement, etc., of course). And the Orange Shitgibbon said it was all about companies bringing jobs back home because of his various trade wars. It’s always all about him.


      • Osirisopto says:

        I’m reminded of Bush the smarter’s record of creating lot of jobs every month… in Low paying, unskilled positions.


  2. Time for Obvious Typo to stride to the mic and announce “Everyone remain calm! Our banking system is still solvent! Now excuse me while I take this large satchel of diamonds and flee to a non-extradition country to retire to my heavily stocked bunker”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. another kiwi says:

    You can’t make a grift without breaking a few companies, people. The Chinese government must be wondering what they have done to deserve this good fortune.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Art says:

    Hint: All conflicts are asymmetrical. Yes, the US economy is larger and more innovative overall but China, as a nation with political and economic concerns, is much more highly resistant to public dissatisfaction than the US.

    A good part of the Chinese public still has roots, and/or memory, of rural agricultural poverty and while they won’t go back to that happily they can see a path back as long as it in time it leads to prosperity in the future. They are a culture with a history of long time-lines and a willingness to take significant pain now to have a better future.

    Those unwilling to go along with those plans will be facing the fact that China is the world leader in tight media control, secret police, informers, face recognition and AI monitoring of all electronic communications, with dossiers kept on everyone. They have tight unified and centrally directed control. The US doesn’t have such tight control.

    Trump’s core 30% will always back him up but the other 70% are far less likely to take the economic pain without complaint. Is comrade Trump really willing to take the insults and abuse, of large protests, media mocking, and insulting calls prom his presumptive peers?

    I don’t see the US, or this administration in particular, as willing to think long-term and take much pain. In an eye-to-eye face-off over tariffs the US is a ‘paper tiger’ led by a cowardly bully.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. roket says:

    “If we have a successful negotiation with China…”

    I’m pretty sure there are several tech CEO’s who are uncomfortable with that remark.

    Liked by 1 person

    • tengrain says:

      Thanks – I googled him to learn more about him, and the book showed up (a book so notorious, I learned, it has its own Wikipedia page!). I searched Amazon for the book, but not for the author.

      This is a good tip. Thanks!



      Liked by 2 people

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