News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Matt Walsh is dating a dolphin?

Wingnuttia’s Daily Wire Y’all Qaeda columnist Matt Walsh seriously is arguing about consent laws by telling us (in the first person) how Ariel, the Little Mermaid, entrapped him:

So I guess Walsh is 1) dating a dolphin and B) is secretly Prince Eric? I’m so confused.

This entry was posted in Matt Walsh, media, Talentless Hacks, Theocrats. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Jim says:

    Whoa, weird unexpected mammalian encounter.

    Like

  2. roket says:

    Matt Walsh is tired of winning.

    Like

  3. lofgren says:

    That’s a pretty unfair description of the exchange. He’s not arguing about consent laws, he’s literally talking about the sexual ethics in The Little Mermaid, in what is pretty obviously a joke. Also, that is the second person, not the first person.

    If we were going to analogize the question to anything in the real world – which I stress Walsh never does – I think it would be the question of whether or not trans people have an obligation to inform their sexual partners that they were born a different sex.

    I say no. Ariel was turned into a human by magic. Her trans-specism is none of Eric’s business unless their relationship starts to get serious, which it most certainly does not, at least until he throws himself overboard to save her from the sea witch. (Anytime you throw yourself overboard in order to do battle with a sea monster for a girl who likes you, the relationship is automatically upgraded to “serious.”)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Banging a dolphin to own the libs!

    Like

  5. Osiris Opto says:

    Ok if the relationship with the elemental is rewarding and getting serious who gives a damn about where she/he/it comes from, or done in the past? As most people know when our passions rise the only thing that matter are the hear and now, and the stuck zipper.

    Lying to yourself about the nature of the problem can lead to horrific closet scenes.

    Like

  6. paul fredine says:

    sorry, matt, there’s not a fish (especially a dolphin. as smart as they are they’d never lower themselves) that would want to seduce you.

    Like

  7. teele says:

    “So I guess Walsh is 1) dating a dolphin and B) is secretly Prince Eric? I’m so confused.”

    Better to be Prince Eric than Erik Prince.

    Like

  8. Kent Fossgreen says:

    You can take comfort in the fact that no matter how confused you may be, you will never be as confused as Matt Walsh.

    Like

  9. H-Bob says:

    So the dolphins view us as sheep ?

    Like

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