News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Happily Married Couple

Hair Füror and Mel will travel to Pennsylvania tomorrow to “grieve with the Pittsburgh community” following Saturday’s largest mass shooting of Jews in US history at the Tree of Life Synagogue, of which he takes no responsibility (“…but you eff’ing globalists had it coming,” Prznint Stupid did not add).

He’ll be as welcomed as a fart in church.

“The president cherishes the American Jewish community for everything it stands for … he adores Jewish-Americans as part of his own family.”— Sarah Sanders
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14 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Oneofthebobs says:

    It’s like Charlie Manson going to Sharon Tate’s funeral. I hope that he receives the welcome that he deserves.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. purplehead says:

    Preznint Racist is not welcome to Pittsburgh.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. donnah says:

    Because their community is made up of kind, loving human beings, he will be greeted with warmth, something he will not appreciate nor comprehend. He’ll make a few awkward, clueless statements, pat some people on the back, and fly off to his next rally, where he’ll get the hero’s cheers that he craves.

    It would be so much better for everyone involved if he didn’t go there at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Bruce388 says:

    Rachel says the mayor of Pittsburgh has stated they don’t have enough security for the funerals of the victims, which start tomorrow, and FatNixon. I’d tell FatNixon he’s on his own, the funerals are more important, and Best of Luck.

    Liked by 1 person

    • robginchicago says:

      The fool will just have his 8,200 armed soldiers heading to the Southern border make a detour to Pittsburgh, so the funeral processions can share the roads with his tanks and armored fighting vehicles. Personally, I think Mattis could be a hero and use that opportunity for asserting a bit of “parental control”.

      Like

  5. In order to express their loathing, ninety-nine Drumpf balloons would be the best way to greet him.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Osiris Opto says:

    How long will it take him to step over the bodies and explain how he’s been harmed?

    I give it sixteen rambling, broken ”sentences”.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. RWW says:

    The media are still holding out hope that he will finally behave like a real president so they can pat themselves on the back for covering him “fairly”. They fail to see it is far too late for such expectations, and the aberrant stain he’s put on the presidency cannot be removed until he himself is removed from office.

    Like

  8. 9thousandfeet says:

    It’s win win for him.
    If he goes and is welcomed politely, he’ll declare the visit a rousing success and use it to “prove” to his base that they are not wrong about him being widely appreciated and that the enthusiasm for voting the filthy socialist scum into obscurity is rising fast.
    If he goes and is met with hostile demonstrations and negative commentary from the local community leaders, he will declare the visit a rousing success and use it to “prove” to his base just how divisive and impossible to work with the filthy socialist scum really are, and how important it is that the base turn out to vote them into obscurity.

    Everything he’s doing is about further crystallizing the polarization he’s exploited and expanded into a permanent status that will be immune to any rational persuasion going forward. He’s very very good at that, and his instincts for just how much animus and bellicosity lies in the hearts of way the hell more Americans that liberals can ever admit to existing are extremely accurate.
    The liberals said “This is not who we are”.
    Trump said “Oh yeah, motherfuckers? Watch this!”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Redhand says:

      9000 feet you are right up there with Steve M when it comes to despairing cynicism about Trump and what the GOP is capable of. Unfortunately I can’t really disagree with you. The man’s malevolence is matched only by the low cunning with which he is able to bring out the absolute worst in our fellow citizens. It’s like he has a radar for detecting evil and exploiting it. We simply must fight him tooth and nail until we get him out of office. And preferably behind bars for the criminal he is.

      Like

  9. Buttemilk Sky says:

    I’m only surprised he’s not towing Jared and Ivanka along for cover.

    Like

    • Buttemilk Sky says:

      Posted too soon — apparently he is bringing the Kushners. I hope they can keep him from tossing salamis to the mourners.

      Like

  10. Bruce388 says:

    That photo is from inauguration day. Presidents usually age while they’re in office but FatNixon looked just as shitty back then.

    Like

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