Access Journalism 101

Breaking CNN!

I think we’ve stated it before: CNN is the dumpster fire of journalism, driven largely by pontificating poltroons shouting around a table. The most dreaded words in the English language are, “we now turn to our powerhouse panel,” usually followed by a close up of Crypt Keeper and very serious person David Gregen’s rictus grin.

CNN’s hard news is still pretty good and hard-hitting, but when it comes to editorial, boy-howdy, you can feel your IQ lowering by the moment.

I mention this only because there’s been a disturbance in the Farce: CNN had the chance at their Citizen By CNN conference, which is sorta like an Ideas Festival for people who never think for themselves, to interview the Russian Usurper’s fratsputin, Jared Kushner, a person of interest in the news. Should be interesting and hard hitting, amiright?

So of course they had Van Jones do it.

Edgy!

It literally started with Jones asking Kushner, “How’d you get this job?,” and unbelievably, Fratsputin didn’t give Jones the side-eye. Then the hard-hitting interview went south from there!

So, Prznint Stupid likes children! But can he finish a whole one? 

Jones doesn’t ask Jared about the disconnect between liking kids and stealing the kids at the border and putting them in cages. Perhaps Trump wants to collect the whole set?

Next:

So, he likes his coworker, the First Shady Ivanka! Whoda guessed it! Jones never asks exactly what it is that Ivanka does, so our belief that her job consists of taking pictures of herself looking like she’s working and posting them to Instagram goes unabated.

Next:

Jared is having fun, or at least is invigorated! And yes, my flesh is crawling.

Next, we hit the topic of the day: what did Jared say to the other prince in the news, Crown Prince Bone Saw!

Transparency is good.

Next!

So transparency is good, but the Bone Saw’dis investigating themselves is OK, because REASONS.

And the interview ended and we never found out which color is Jared’s favorite, or what he has on his playlist, nor which Boy Band he would be a member of.

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9 Responses to Access Journalism 101

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    I thought the challenge of a lifetime was trying to stay afloat after the disastrous 666 5th Ave purchase.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Feline Mama says:

    Going back to drumph’s loving his grandkids, blah, blah, blah. Interesting, hadn’t heard any of this before. Oh, Donnie, have you been introduced to Barron? Your son? Maybe? Never hear anything from you, Or, his mother, about him. Interesting. Never a father & son outing? CRICKETS are talking!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • tengrain says:

      Feline Mama –

      The Trumplings present us with a solid case of The Heir, The Spare, and the Princess Fair. (Plus Tiffany and Barron)

      Rgds,

      TG

      Liked by 1 person

    • Jim says:

      Well, there is that famous photo of Trump in his usual dark suit watching Barron mow the lawn somewhere (the White House) and his father appearing to hector him. Trump once said he doesn’t deal with his kids at all until they’re old enough to work on business things. Yeah, he went there.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Bruce388 says:

    If I remember correctly Junior has 5 kids, Eric 1, Ivanka 3. Some day I want someone to ask FatNixon the names of his grandchildren, then I want to watch the fun.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. roket says:

    Once those facts come in, the Secretary of State will work with our national security team to help us determine what we want to believe? They’ll go with only the best facts I’m sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Buttemilk Sky says:

    I just saw “All the Money In the World,” and J. Paul Getty loved his grandchildren, too! Except when one of them was kidnapped and he wouldn’t pay the ransom. At least he knew Paul’s name.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. RWW says:

    Van Jones either believes this kind of obtuse, fawning performance would prevent a despotic prince from chopping him into bits, or he doesn’t believe Jared is a despotic prince. In either case, Van Jones is an idiot.

    Like

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