Sen. Tom Cotton has a new theory about #JusticeGangBang and how the whole thing played out, and it is a doozy: Dr. Ford, her former roommate, onetime U.S. attorney Preet Bharara, and Sens. Chuck Schumer, and Dianne Feinstein were all in on a seekrit scheme to spring sexual assault allegations against the virgin Mayor of Keg City and noted loud music enthusiast Brett Kavanaugh as far back as this July. And remember, Kavanaugh was nominated on July 10, so you know, pretty quickly!
Of course, he gets a Saturn-class booster rocket assist from Hugh Hewitt, who is described by our pal Driftglass as a cyborg sent from the future to destroy America.
Hewitt: Is there any doubt in your mind, Senator Cotton, that this was planned long before it was unveiled? And by that, I mean the leak of Dr. Ford’s letter, I don’t know who did it, but I believe it was part of a campaign that was set up to occur exactly when it did. Do you agree with me?
And if ever there was a leading question, well, that is it. Anyway, Cotton winds-up, and then does some freestyle rapping:
Cotton: Hugh, I believe the Schumer political operation was behind this from the very beginning. We learned last week that a woman named Monica McLean was Ms. Ford’s roommate, and she was one of the so-called beach friends who encouraged Ms. Ford to go to Dianne Feinstein and the partisan Democrats on the Judiciary Committee. Well, it just turns out, it just so happens that Monica McLean worked for a Preet Bharara, the former U.S. Attorney in Manhattan, now a virulent anti-Trump critic on television and former counsel to Chuck Schumer. So I strongly suspect that Chuck Schumer’s political operation knew about Ms. Ford’s allegations as far back as July and manipulated the process all along to include taking advantage of Ms. Ford’s confidences and directing her towards left-wing lawyers who apparently may have violated the D.C. code of legal ethics and perhaps may face their own investigation by the D.C. Bar.
Cotton of course is no stranger to conspiracy theories, like that time he sent his constituents Cease and Desist letters because they were clearly, um, some sort of cabal against him when they contacted him:
#TraitorTommy @TomCottonAR scared of his constituents calling so he’s sending out cease and desist letters. You’re too 🐔 to lead CIA if you can’t even listen to constituents! #arpx pic.twitter.com/N1HAGCmbW6
— Ozark Indivisible (@OZRKIndivisible) January 18, 2018
It all suddenly makes sense! WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!1!