The Problem with Penises

[Ed. – we’re pinning this on top, for obv. reasons.  Newer posts below. –Tengrain]

This essay isn’t about bashing men. Good men know who they are. Women recognize and appreciate those men. In fact, you’re our gold standard for how all men should treat women. The fact that I need to include this disclaimer is part of the issue.

Since forever, penises and their handlers (PH’s) have been granted astonishing privilege and power over vaginas and their handlers (VH’s). Penises are lauded as funnier, smarter, decisive, and significantly more adept at everything. They’re encouraged to treat VH’s as the fairer sex, less than, and to behave like a gentleman through acts of chivalry. Or as we call it, misogyny, mansplaining, sexual harassment, rape, sexual assault, or rape adjacent behavior, among other things. PH’s think it is their birthright to exert total control over a VH whenever they see fit. Society has taught VH’s that we were put on this earth to live in servitude of PH’s, and that our worth is tied to a PH’s desire to marry us.

Penises also believe it is imperative that they regulate everything that happens in a woman’s uterus. Instead of uterus’s being akin to the catchphrase, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” VH’s are constantly at war for body autonomy. Legislating our wombs is a political battle-cry for right-wing politicians to abuse and left wing politicians to protect. Women can’t possibly make decisions for themselves, no-no-no — that’s a man’s job. Even when our lives are at risk, our uterus’s must be secured in a chastity belt from ourselves and our doctors.

What happens outside of the womb, well that’s another story, should a baby be expelled, misogynistic men and right-wing politicians no longer give a shit. Who cares if the kid starves to death, winds up homeless, or in a cage, drugged, raped, abused, etc., all of that is inconsequential. Their fixation is solely with our wombs.

Smell that? The waft of inequality, it’s inTOXICating and something every VH is wretchedly familiar with.


VH lawmakers never felt the need to regulate PH’s testicles. Left-wing politicians never said things like: *When a man is legitimately raping a woman, the male body has ways to stop the sperm in his testicles, so it never enters her vagina. Or, *Republicans insult men by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing condoms for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government. Finally, *I came to realize, life is a gift from God. And I think even when life begins in that situation of men raping women that it is something that God intended to happen.

Far too many male politicians and evangelical nutcases fight to the death for control over our bodies (below are the actual quotes).

Admittedly, for years I’ve felt a compulsion to regulate men’s penises and testicles, evidenced by The Penis Files and countless tweets.

As an aside… One of the things I love about being Jewish, is that we’re so fucking pro-choice, we don’t bury stillborns. It’s not a life. Life equals breath, not birth, and not what happens in the womb.

To parents raising boys, specifically the ignorant asshole mothers from Florida and their ilk who think raping women is, boys being boys, you’re not only a MASSIVE part of the problem, you perpetuate rape culture, sexual harassment, and the notion that women are not equal to men. All of your asses should immediately be disqualified as parents. You do not deserve to raise boys or girls. You’re the reason PH’s consider sexual assault and/or harassment a tenet. You think educating them about chivalry isn’t another version of misogyny. Why the fuck do you do this? Is it because penises become erect? That’s just biology. Vaginas have a similar biological response. It can’t be as simple as penetration. Our digits can finger-bang any man’s orifice, so can other commonly used tools of the trade, such as guns, knives, dildos, egg timers, and a thousand other things. STOP. Either learn to parent or give your children to parents who will raise well-adjusted men and women. You’re egregious incompetence forces good parents to raise girls with guidelines for how to navigate a world where women are constantly in fear for our safety, where our intelligence is cautioned, and disagreeing with a PH isn’t just a disqualifier, it means we’re bitches, or gashes menstruating. And, definitely out of line. What in the actual fuck is wrong with parents of PH’s? Why can’t they raise boys to see women as equals?

The climate for women is even more cantankerous under bloviating tangerine faced cunt, a self-professed, proud sexual sadist, rapist and misogynist. Your work as parents is that much more challenging, I get it. You still have a responsibility to raise good men. Do your fucking job.

My parents raised my brothers and sisters equally. We were encouraged to vigorously pursue education and creativity, anything our hearts desired. We were told that we could be and do anything. We played with the same toys. Certain toys were banned from the house, such as Barbie dolls, guns and anything that perpetuated violence. Equality was normal. Menstruation was normal. My parents never used the term, tolerance, ever. I didn’t even know what it meant as it pertained to human beings until I was in high school. In my house, every man, woman, and transgendered individual, religion and race were equal, full stop.


Today, on National Voter Registration Day, a national holiday celebrating our democracy, please register to vote. If you think you’re registered, double check your voter registration status. If you’re considering voting for a right-wing candidate, don’t. We need people in office who represent women’s rights, equal rights, equal justice, and so much more. In addition, we need a check on Trump and to save whatever is left of our democracy. We’ve been in a perilous constitutional crisis that began before the presidential election. Vote blue! Vote against emboldened white supremacists and Nazi’s. Vote out lawmakers who are women hating, homophobic, Islamophobic Trump loyalists, not patriots. Vote for candidates who will make sure that Trump doesn’t push the presidential elections to another year, or whatever the fuck this demagogue is planning. Vote for candidates determined to make OUR LIVES BETTER!

Here’s why I chose the acronyms, PH and VH:

*Quotes via Paste Magazine

  •  “If the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it.” — Mike Huckabee
  • But on the rape thing, it’s like, how does putting more violence onto a woman’s body and taking the life of an innocent child that’s a consequence of this crime, how does that make it better?” — John Koster
  • “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.” — Todd Akin
  •  “I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize, life is a gift from God. And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape that it is something that God intended to happen.” — Richard Mourdock
This entry was posted in equality, reproductive rights and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to The Problem with Penises

  1. Scottie says:

    Reblogged this on Scotties Toy Box and commented:

    Powerful! Very Powerful! Please give this a read. It is worth every second you spend on it. Thanks. Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

    • Scottie!

      I am deeply touched by your comment. Thank you for reading my essay. Thank you for your incredible kindness and generosity.

      Congratulations on 28 beautiful years with your husband. I wish you 128 more amazing years together.


      Liked by 1 person

  2. mgpaquin says:

    Thank you. Thank you… I didn’t report, but I was a child. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am SO SORRY. I wish you never endured that. I understand, because I didn’t report either. When was the first time you were even able to speak of it? Isn’t it just fucking impossible?


  3. Jonathan Venier says:

    Thank you from an old crabby white Male spoken like I wish I could speak

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Karla says:

    Thank you Katie. I love this.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. moeman says:

    Beautifully powerful!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. edithsilver says:

    So well said. And i loved the Penis Files. Just watched them>

    Liked by 1 person

  7. George Kapotto says:

    “And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape that it is something that God intended to happen.” — Richard Mourdock

    Why doesn’t he address the implication that God approves of rape because otherwise rapists would have a ridiculously high rate of fatal brain aneurysms?

    Perhaps he needs to find a kinder gentler God.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Alison Redford says:

    :’-) Brava!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Mike's Blog Round Up – Liberal View News

  10. I always thought “chivalry” meant this:

    Good men know who they are. Women recognize and appreciate those men. In fact, you’re our gold standard for how all men should treat women.

    Not this:

    …misogyny, mansplaining, sexual harassment, rape, sexual assault, or rape adjacent behavior…

    Maybe this is a difference between what a word means in theory and how the thing is actually practiced?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Quaker in the Basement. Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it and the opportunity to explain a bit better.

      According to, the definitions of chivalry are:
      a group of knights.
      gallant warriors or gentlemen: fair ladies and noble chivalry.
      Archaic. a chivalrous act; gallant deed.

      Fair ladies really pisses me off. Why not just ladies? Why are we defined as less than?

      Often, some men, not all, talk about how they were raised to be chivalrous and treat women with respect. That sounds well and good, but in my experience everything about the act of chivalry is misogynistic. Taking control in every situation and making even minutia decisions on a woman’s behalf, like choosing what she eats or wears, or equating money spent on her as points racked up to earn sex, is sexist.

      Pretending to listen to what I have to say versus really engaging in a conversation, is playacting me.

      Does that explanation make clearer sense or not? If not, I want to lend more clarity.



  11. Ralph burkett says:

    Wow, this should be compulsory reading for everyone, regardless of gender. My mother brought me up to treat everyone how I would like to be treated and I have lived by it. As a almost 60 year old male I am still astounded how men, and women, make excuses for males who do the wrong thing when it comes to women.

    Women ARE the fairer sex; fairer at inclusion, fairer at listening and hearing, pretty much fairer at everything.

    This culture we have of attacking the victim, of blaming the victim, but only if the victim is female MUST end. We should all be ashamed that an assaulted girl feels she cannot speak.

    And the female enablers, they should feel the most ashamed of all. You are helping bad men perpetuate horrific things.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Ed says:

    Even though we keep voting for politicians who promise to rob men, we still expect men to respect us.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Reblogged this on aunt polly's rants and commented:



Comments are closed.