One-man crime wave—and noted fashionista—Paul Manafort — whom we know took notes on his phone during the infamous Trump Tower meeting with Natalia And the Russians (best Russian New Wave band of July 2016) — has agreed to tell all he knows to special counsel Robert Mueller as part of a plea deal to avoid a another trial, and you know, probably to avoid going to the pokey for the rest of his life. This also means (at least for a while) that room service will not be delivering any Russian Tea to his cell. So he’s got that working for himself, too.
Manafort knows if the campaign colluded with the Russians because he was the dude who probably would have been doing the colluding; after all, he did work for a Russian-puppet regime in Ukraine years ago, and he exchanged emails with a former Russian intelligence operative, Konstantin Kilimnik, offering the Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska private briefings about the campaign. Remember the comment about the Russian Tea? Yeah. It could also come from a pair of door-to-door Russian perfume enthusiasts.
For those of you keeping score at home, Paul Manafort joins his colleagues from the 2016 Goat Rodeo who have offered cooperation with Mr. Mueller in exchange for lesser charges:
- Michael D. Cohen, the president’s longtime personal lawyer
- Michael T. Flynn, the former national security adviser
- Rick Gates, the former deputy campaign chairman
- George Papadopoulos, a former campaign adviser
Why, they could run the Russian Usurper’s re-election campaign from inside jail!