AZ Senate Candidate Kelli Ward: WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!1!

Bigfoot Endorses Kelli Ward

Dr. Kelli Ward, the Mad Obstetrician of the Mojave and one of the 2018 crackpot conspiracy theorist candidates—Ward is a birther, believes in chemtrails, and Mike Cernovich hisself is campaigning for her; he is the original pizzagate conspiracy theorist—who is out to replace aptly named Sen. Jeff Flake,  launched a statewide bus tour as part of her final primary push (obstetrician, get it?).

Her bus tour announcement was the same day that Grandpa Walnuts announced he was ceasing treatment for his brain cancer, so I think you can see where this is heading.

One of her campaign staffers asked on Facebook if the timing of the McCain announcement was meant to take attention away from Kelli Ward’s bus tour.

Ward herself :

“I think they wanted to have a particular narrative that they hope is negative to me.”

One wonders if the diabolically clever Walnuts timed his own demise to take attention away from her, hmmm?

Hey, I’m only asking the tough questions that everyone is thinking, amiright?

 

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14 Responses to AZ Senate Candidate Kelli Ward: WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!1!

  1. osirisopto says:

    Advice for Kelly Ward: Smoking Draino is a great way to get off the Meth.

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  2. This, right here, is why I hope Il Deuce decides to plop McSally into McCains seat. That leaves Khemtrails Kelli and FiveStarFelonious Joe Arpaio in the race. That’s a race we can win.

    But he won’t, most likely. Local rag has some speculation: https://tucson.com/news/state-and-regional/filling-sen-john-mccain-s-seat-a-political-balancing-act/article_a5af530c-a9f8-11e8-b22e-db19f055da4b.html#tracking-source=home-top-story that brought up names I’d not thought of.

    Jon Kyl? Previous title holder of stupidest man in the Senate? That Jon “Not intended to be a factual statement” Kyl?? https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/senator-jon-kyls-lies-about-planned-parenthood-not-intended-to-be-factual-statement-6639355

    Grant Woods was an actually-not-horrible AG for Arizona.

    Cindy McCain remains a wild card. Il’ Deuce could choose her without immediately getting shredded by both sides of the AZ party like chum in shark waters (at least in public). It would make the 2020 pie fight quite raucous, though.

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  3. Sirius Lunacy says:

    I was just out in the Great NW hanging out with Bigfoot. He does not endorse Ward. As he really does not want to be found, certainly not by any of the loony conspiracy theorists, he tends to endorse candidates who don’t believe in him.

    On a side note, I went to Voodoo Donuts. I checked the menu and all the advertised specials. There was no child porn anywhere. All I found was a large selection of pretty good donuts and a smaller selection of beverages. Since I had traveled a great distance to get there I felt I could not leave empty handed and settled for two of the former and one of the latter.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Pyed says:

    Maybe Kelli Ward, or at least one of her campaign staffers, share a mental problem with their fearless leader of the Orange hue, in that everything is always about them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. paleotectonics says:

    I am, as we speak, headed to Beatty, NV, and then into the Valley of Death.

    I expect to see, off in the distance, a tattered, wizened, jabbering wraith. Kelli’s sanity.

    Then tomorrow we’re going to Universal!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Karla says:

    Hey, speaking of the Terrible Sand Kingdom, I’ll be in Phoenix in mid October for a conference. Any of you scissor-heads near there, and up for a drink IRL? Tentatively at this point, of course.

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