Now that Sen. John McCain has parachuted into his great reward, the Republican governor of the Terrible Sand Kingdom of Arizonastan, Doug Ducey, will appoint a new Senator who will serve out the remainder of Grandpa Walnuts’ term until 2020.
This is the nuts-and-bolts of politics, folks, don’t blame me for being so heartless as the Terrible Sand Kingdom mourns the loss of Grandpa Walnuts. The Spice Must Flow. We consulted with the Magic Ouija Board and can see several possibilities:
- Gov. Ducey could appoint Rep. Martha McSally (R-AZ), who is running for the retired seat of bloviating, principled, do-nothing Sen. Jeff Flake, thus guaranteeing her a Senate seat.
- Gov. Ducey could appoint McCain’s wife, booze heiress Cindy McCain, as a sentimental placeholder.
- Gov. Ducey could appoint someone from the congressional delegation from Arizonastan.
Let’s look at these options!
- If Ducey pulls McSally out of her race, then reprehensible teabagger Kelli Ward or pardoned felon Joe Arpaio becomes the nominee for Flake’s seat. One of those two persons will become the Senator. (“It’s the terrible sand kingdom of Arizonastan, Jake.”)
- If Ducey picks Cindy “Pills and Booze” McCain, he gets a bit of a wildcard; she is not as conservative as her husband was, and the terrible sand people will not be happy. No word yet on if Cindy wants that curse. Hasn’t she suffered enough?
- Picking a Representative means that there would be open-seat election in that district in November, in what looks to be a Blue Wave year. So Ducey needs to choose the Representative from the safest, reddest district, who will no doubt be replaced by another fossil, er, caveman Republican.
I’m betting that Ducey goes with option #3, but I do not know enough about the Congressional Representatives from the Sand Kingdom. Looking at the PVI of Arizona, it would be Paul Gosar, who is sitting in the R+21 Arizona District 4 seat.
I will leave the commentary to Scissorhead Bruce The Desert Rat to weigh in with informed opinion.
UPDATE 1: BDR comes through! Some pretty good insight into the Terrible Sand Kingdom.
PS – All the usual suspects in the morning political email thingies are (as predicted) covering Grandpa Walnuts and the hagiography (as predicted) is gag worthy.