News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Jeebus weeps

Hey guys, remember Florida’s self-proclaimed “prophetess” Kat Kerr? You know that Florida Woman who used her prophetess-fu and took authority over the California wildfires, and Subtropical Storm Alberto and Hawaii’s Kilauea volcano, and commanded them to knock it off in the name of Jeebus (Amen!) and declared them extinguished and whatnot? (they are still burning. Except Alberto, I think he’s done blowing.)

Anyway, she’s now declaring authority over Hurricane Lane! Yay! So Hawaii has got that going for them now, too. Also!

Attention Weather Warriors
Was just informed about the hurricane last evening and have been declaring and taking authority over it. Let us do this together and say: “We take power over all the power of the enemy that would be using that hurricane in Hawaii to do any destruction and command the pressure to rise within the storm and crush the whole system. We command it to be downgraded until it is nothing, the winds to slow down and the rains to cease. We as Believers, are over the weather not under the weather. Just as Christ had authority over the storm, we too have authority over the storm in Hawaii. We also command the Host of Heaven to begin to shred the bands of wind and keep flooding from taking place on the islands. We thank you Jesus for giving us power and authority to rule over the elements and the earth. Amen”
Never stop taking authority over darkness in any area you see it operating, the more you do it, the greater the impact it will have. Be blessed.

This entry was posted in Jump for Jeebus, Kat Kerr, Theocrats, Xristian Xraxies. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. “Respect mah authoritah!”

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  2. RWW says:

    She should take authority over the tempest in her teacup first, then seek professional help for all the rest of her problems.

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  3. Jules MomCat says:

    The arms of her straight jacket are tied too tightly, maybe? WTF planet does that deluded bitch occupy?

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  4. Jim says:

    Um, I think most of us devoted scissorheads who live on the right coast probably don’t know about this left coast prophetess. At least this one doesn’t know what this is about (except fulfilling certain stereotypes about CA flakes).

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    • tengrain says:

      Jim – She operates her grift from Florida. She ain’t one of ours, though we certainly have our share!

      Rgds,

      TG

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  5. Karla says:

    Well, she commands that the storm be downgraded … the winds to slow down … the rains to cease.
    I would bet all my quatloos that all of that will happen. Eventually.

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  6. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    I swear, these people are living a D&D game.

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  7. Paul Fredine says:

    if she was hopping to keep the flooding from taking place, according t this morning’s videos it didn’t work. lady, either you and yours ain’t prayin’ hard enough or your god’s busy with more pressing matters so who you gonna blame instead, da gayz or abortion?

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  8. Dennis Cole says:

    Be Best. Or Be Blessed. Or both, if you can swing it.

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