Jefferson Beauregard ‘Stonewall’ Sessions III announced the Department of Justice’s creation of a “religious liberty task force” to “help the department fully implement our religious guidance.”
Now, in case anyone was wondering what this means, JBSS3 makes it clear:
“We have gotten to the point where courts have held that morality cannot be a basis for law; where ministers are fearful to affirm, as they understand it, holy writ from the pulpit; and where one group can actively target religious groups by labeling them a “hate group” on the basis of their sincerely held religious beliefs.”
So, you know, not being able to hate on the blahs, the skirts, and the ‘mos is harshing their mellow, and Y’all Qaeda is tired of it. And thus a task force is born.
“We’ve seen nuns ordered to buy contraceptives. We’ve seen U.S. senators ask judicial and executive branch nominees about dogma—even though the Constitution explicitly forbids a religious test for public office. We’ve all seen the ordeal faced so bravely by Jack Phillips,” he said, referring to the Colorado baker who took his case to the Supreme Court after he was found to have violated the state’s anti-discrimination laws for refusing to make a cake for a same-sex wedding.”
And of course, this being the Fourth Reich, one must pay tribute to the mango-hued shitgibbon:
Americans from a wide variety of backgrounds are concerned about what this changing cultural climate means for the future of religious liberty in this country.
President Trump heard this concern.
I believe this unease is one reason that he was elected. In substance, he said he respected people of faith and he promised to protect them in the free exercise of their faith. He declared we would say “Merry Christmas” again.
Because what’s more important than ensuring that the Santa at the dying retail malls of America is able to ho-ho-ho?
And, you know, just for giggles, does anyone think that this task force will come to the aid of Muslim Americans? And we will open up the betting window for bidness: how long before the Baptists and the Methodists square off against one another?
Anyway, we give the last word to the Church of Ol’ Scratch hisself, Satan:
Jeff Sessions is literally a Methodist and a Sunday School teacher. We have no interest in being your scapegoat. https://t.co/0EVrzcrufb
— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) July 30, 2018