News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Our new favorite conspiracy theorist Liz Crokin is giving Alex ‘The Master’ Jones a run for the money:

“The idea that JFK Jr & Carolyn faked their own deaths to avoid assassination and have lived in witness protection for two decades plotting & executing The Plan to take down the pedophile Satanists who killed President Kennedy is the most amazing and romantic thing I’ve ever heard!”

Seek professional help liz.

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8 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. roket says:

    So the Democrats are going to take down the pedophile Satanist conservatives? I’m down with that.


  2. Alex Jones? Hell she’s glving David “Queen Elizabeth is a lizard alien” Ickes a run for HIS money…


  3. RWW says:

    Liz is on to something as regards John Jr., but she missed the obvious about Carolyn, who faked her faked death thing so well that it really never happened so that she could secretly die and become a zombie. It’s the zombies who will take down the Satanists!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. M. Bouffant says:

    Might be a different Kennedy daughter. The one we know spells her name “Caroline”.

    Maybe Liz means Patrick Bouvier Kennedy, who “died” in 1963. Been training as an anti-Satanic ninja ever since, I hear.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. FelineMama says:

    Let me guess, there isn’t enough ACTUAL ‘noose’ out there to report.


  6. MDavis says:

    Oh, Christ, this asshole again.


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