Russia Eff’ed With Voter Registration

“Trust me, comrades, why would I lie?”

As we all know by now, soon to be impeached Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein announced that 12 Russians are indicted on 11 criminal counts of interfering in the 2016 Goat Rodeo.

The indictments state that Russian hackers hacked into voter databases in three states—Florida, Georgia and Iowa—stealing 500,000 voters’ names, addresses, and drivers’ license numbers. They paid for all this activity with crypto-currencies.

Once again, we are pleading with you, Dear Readers: CHECK YOUR FUCKING VOTER REGISTRATION WHERE’ERE YOU LIVE.

Look, we’ve been saying it for months and WE WERE CORRECT: the Russians are not going after voting machines, they are going after voter rolls. Even if you voted for the Dog Catcher in last month’s city election, check your voter registration before the general election. Don’t be complacent and say it cannot happen here in my safe Blue State. It can, and it will happen again.

I recently got into it on Twitter with some smug  NYer S.O.B.,  who told me that it couldn’t happen to him because 1) He lived in NY and B) he voted in the last election, so he couldn’t be kicked off the rolls.

This is Russian fuckery, asshole, not Republican fuckery (which is its own brand of malignant manipulation). Those three states were a test case, it worked. Russia is going to go big. And understand this: even if our entire country switched to paper ballots, if Russia deletes or otherwise invalidates your registration, you cannot vote.

This entry was posted in 2018 Pie Fight, 2020 Goat Rodeo, Pooty-Poot Putin. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Russia Eff’ed With Voter Registration

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Smug New Yorker? I’m not even ON Twitter!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • tengrain says:

      Hahahaha – mosdef not you, B-4. This Park-Slope buffoon really argued that it couldn’t happen to him.

      Rgds,

      TG

      Like

  2. osirisopto says:

    Waiting for my OS to finish updating…

    He blamed Obama, saying “Why didn’t Obama do anything?”

    1 Russian asset McConnell didn’t want that and threatened to hold his breath until he turned blue.
    2 Obama compiled. (I think Mitch would look quite dashing with a bloodless blue pallor to his skin.)
    3 Obama expelled Russian spies and imposed sanctions that the MHSG promptly reversed immediately upon gaining control of the wheel.

    There’s approximately 24% of American citizens that are enthusiastic about this and they dare to call themselves patriots while hiding their confederate and nazi flags in their basements next to their kiddie porn.

    There is one person on the planet, and only one who doesn’t realize Trump is a Russian Puppet. He has small hands, a fat ass, shit for brains, went bankrupt while owning a money printing machine and his name rhymes with Donald John Trump, 45th President of the United States.

    TG is right. The Russians have the keys to our democracy and are not afraid to use them. The easiest thing for them to do is to corrupt the voter roles and the Trump admin isn’t doing jack shit about it – except to vociferously shout where everyone can here that there is “No Collusion” “Hillary’s Emails”, “Witch Hunt”, “Deep State Conspiracy”, “My Hands AREN’T Small” and apparently meet to coordinate their efforts.

    Anyone who thinks voter role fuckery can’t happen to them should contact me right away. I have a screaming deal on waterfront property in South Western Florida.
    Don’t miss your chance to get in on the ground floor before it’s TOO LATE!

    Send an email to takingadvantageofthewillfullyignornantsince1929 AT gonnahurtyoureallybad.rs – include your SSN, checking account number and mothers maiden name.

    (That was a fast 45m. ¡Hasta!)

    O-

    Liked by 1 person

  3. RWW says:

    The range of Russian ratfuckery is limitless. It could even include helping a Democrat or two win (in an otherwise non-blue wave) with obvious fraudulent fingerprints all over it and give the Repukes cover to deploy their favorite defense: “see it’s the Democrats who colluded!” The media will jump on it and deploy the typical bothsiderism they’re so good at. Put nothing past these bastards, ever.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jules MomCat says:

      Hubs and I are checking our registration at our courthouse on Monday! Ya never know if/when the Russkis will mess with Succotash Flats’ voter rolls.

      Like

  4. 9thousandfeet says:

    Yep.
    The Russians are going to go big and try to ensure neither house in Congress flips.
    If they succeed, we’re fucked.

    If they don’t, we might still be fucked because I remain persuaded that Trump will challenge the result. Originally I figured “voter fraud” grounds, but now see what a masterful stroke of irony it would be to challenge the election on “foreign interference” grounds.

    The more evidence/indictments Mueller comes up with to support that narrative that Russia really did fuck with the system, the greater are the chances, for obvious reasons, that the fascisti could get some kind of stay or temporary nullification from what will likely be Trump’s shiny new SCOTUS.
    The lame duck GOP controlled Congress would fly air cover, naturally, and the intelligence community would have no choice but to support the assertions just like they’ve been doing all along.

    Does anyone think the current GOP election-tampering denialists wouldn’t suddenly do a 180 on this issue and start talking like they’ve always been worried about it? Anyone think Fox News wouldn’t slickly shift gears overnight?
    In fucking heartbeat they would, and blame Obama for not blowing the whistle “when he had the chance to save the republic”, too.

    (And no, this is not an appeal to say “fuck it” and stupidly not vote. It’s an appeal to be ready for skullduggery that not too long ago at all would have been unimaginable.)

    Like

  5. moeman says:

    Maybe the US could use a cyber security director.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ivory Bill Woodpecker says:
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  9. Ed says:

    Do you think that Bernie Sanders could have beaten Trump?

    Like

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