Grifters Gotta Grift
Scott Pruitt presents a master class in toadying to the mango-hued shitgibbon:
“Mr. President, it has been an honor to serve you in the Cabinet as Administrator of the EPA. Truly, your confidence in me has blessed me personally and enabled me to advance your agenda beyond what anyone anticipated at the beginning of your Administration. Your courage, steadfastness and resolute commitment to get results for the American people, both with regard to improved environmental outcomes as well as historical regulatory reform, is in fact occurring at an unprecedented pace and I thank you for the opportunity to serve you and the American people in helping achieve those ends.”
“Have I mentioned how nice you smell?,” he did not add.
“That is why it is hard for me to advise you I am stepping down as Administrator of the EPA effective as of July 6. It is extremely difficult for me to cease serving you in this role first because I count it a blessing to be serving you in any capacity, but also, because of the transformative work that is occurring.
I would add the only way to serve Comrade Trump would be on a spit with an apple in his mouth. But I digress.
However, the unrelenting attacks on me personally, my family, are unprecedented and have taken a sizable toll on all of us.”
Note how Pruitt never says that the attacks are, you know, accurate about his grasping and grifting ways. Just that they are unprecedented, as was his unethical behavior.
“My desire in service to you has always been to bless you as you make important decisions for the American people. I believe you are serving as President today because of God’s providence. I believe that same providence brought me into your service. I pray as I have served you that I have blessed you and enabled you to effectively lead the American people. Thank you again Mr. President for the honor of serving you and I wish you Godspeed in all that you put your hand to.”
God had nothing to do with it, but the competition is probably grinning like a fiend.