Local Wonky Genius Isn’t Wonky Or Genius, Probably Not Local Either

“Trust me, girl.”

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan—the dreamy blue-eyed favorite of our failed media—has failed again!

You see, ZEGS has been trying to head off at the pass a revolt in the House over immigration that might result in something less than cruel Republican goals of kicking everyone out who immigrated from “shithole countries” (anywhere but blue-eyed places). So his goal is to craft a vote on an immigration bill that can pass with only Republican votes.

Without getting too much into the weeds of tricky parliamentary maneuvers, ZEGS brought to the floor a VERY CONSERVATIVE immigration bill for a vote, where it lost in a landslide, as predicted. The plan then is to bring to the floor another slightly less-conservative bill (but still VERY CONSERVATIVE) that would win; Prznint Stupid said he would sign either of ’em.

The whip count did not come back positive for ZEGS second bill (which he wrote hisself), and so ZEGS pulled his own bill from the floor. Twice. And the vote on his so-called moderate bill may or may not happen next week because…

…chances are good that the tricky parliamentary maneuver (a discharge petition that would force four other bills out of committee and onto the House floor for a vote) will get the final two signatures it needs and debate on a long-stalled immigration bills—that the Dims and the so-called Centrist Republicans support—will start.

And thus, the Republicans’ favorite wonk and noted genius Paul Ryan will start the 2018 Pie Fight by pie’ing themselves. (Is too a verb!)

This entry was posted in 2018 Pie Fight, immigration, Zombie Attacks, Zombie-eyed Granny-starving. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Local Wonky Genius Isn’t Wonky Or Genius, Probably Not Local Either

  1. Parfigliano says:

    Paul Ryan grewn up on the benefits of Social Security. Then he read Ayn Rand….not Ayn is his blueptint


    • Jules MomCat says:

      Ryan’s father ran a small road-paving company in Janesville (WI), and once he landed contracts to pave Rock county roads and and Janesville city streets, THAT’s when the big bucks rolled into the Ryan bank accounts.


      • tengrain says:

        Ryan’s family’s business is one of the midwest’s greatest industrialist fortunes: Ryan Industries; if you drive on a freeway, or fly into/out of an airport in the midwest, chances are you are traveling on one of the family’s projects… Ryan’s father was one of three heirs, and while he never ran the business, they sent him to law school to be the corporate counsel. And then he dropped dead.

        While it is true that and adolescent Ryan got Social Security upon his father’s death, it is also (probably) true that he did not need it, but it was, you know, free money. Just as a point of reference, if Bill Gates were to go to his maker, his (hypothetical) adolescent kids would also be eligible for survivor benefits.

        Speculation: this would (probably) be about the time he started reading Ayn Rand (teenage boys loved Atlas Shrugged once upon a time), which as you know has a strident industrialist as a protagonist, which would make it romantic and likely that this is when he became the selfish creep we know today as the Speak of the House. I don’t know this timeline for a fact, but I think this is pretty sound speculation.



        Liked by 1 person

  2. roket says:

    Who is Paul Ryan?


  3. RWW says:

    Governing by the “majority of the majority” means no actual governing gets done, and the media’s reaction is “Congress is so polarized now, both sides are so extreme…”

    If Tip O’Neill had invented the “Hastert Rule” back in the Reagan era, the media would have hung him by his balls.


  4. donnah says:

    Paul Ryan, that photo, just ugh. A more punchable face I haven’t seen, and wouldn’t you like to jam that weight right up his nose? Life certainly isn’t fair, when a smug piece of shit like Ryan will wreak havoc with our democracy, divebomb as many social structures as possible, piss on the Constitution, then laugh all the way to a cushy job away from government.



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  6. Pyed says:

    Just as a matter of note, is the verb in that last phrase pie’ing or peeing?


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