Let’s now turn our attention to Comrade Trump’s stupidest lawyer (sorry Rudy), Michael (or is it Mikhail?) Cohen, the fixer in need of a fixer.
Federal prosecutors in New York revealed on Friday that they had pieced back together shredded documents found during search-warrant raids in April targeting Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump’s longtime personal attorney.
They taped together shredded documents, like a common Prznintial Archivist? It seems to be a theme in the Fourth Reich. [Reminder to self: Invest in 3M, Scotch Tape futures are gonna be YUGE!]
Comrade Trump must feel very lucky that a smart cookie like Cohen at least used burner phones and destroyed those before the Feds arrived…
Lawyers from the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Manhattan also said they’d managed to download the contents of one old BlackBerry found in the raids, as well as messages from encrypted apps, including WhatsApp and Signal, found on newer phones.
He kept the phones? He kept all the phones? [Note to Rudy: this is why Cohen’s the stupidest lawyer. I guess you learned to get rid of the phones while you were philandering on wives one, two, and now three.] So what did the Feds find?
“Approximately 731 pages of messages, including call logs,” were found on those apps and were turned over to Cohen’s lawyers on Friday to be reviewed for potentially privileged materials like attorney-client communications, as well as “highly personal” information, prosecutors said.
They have not told us what they found, but if it was evidence… well, that’s gonna hurt. Destruction of Evidence and Obstruction in one fell swoop, and that’s pretty much a gimme.
Anyway, Cohen is the target of TWO federal investigations, one is on bank fraud, campaign finance violations and illegal lobbying, and the other is in Mr. Mueller’s office related to The Little Kremlin-on-the-Potomac.
And then there’s this: Cohen’s attorney tried to get a gag order to shut up Michael Avenatti, who is representing Stormy Daniels in the Pornygate scandal. The Federal Judge rejected Cohen’s request, and so Avenatti can say anything he wants to. One wonders if the shy and reclusive Avenatti will continue to be ever-present on the talkies? Heh.
Watching Putin’s Pal Robert Manafort hauled off to the pokey can’t have been good for Cohen’s infamous loyalty to Comrade Trump. So Cohen squealed for help by dropping his defense team and seeking a new one, and good luck with that. What law firm wants to have a client with Russian mob connections? Bill collecting comes with a steaming mug of ricin.
But not to worry, Mikhail, Wrong-Again Rudy heard your squeal and watched Manafort frog marched into jail and smoke-signaled his own future Obstruction of Justice charges (only guessing, but still probably?):
“When the whole thing is over, things might get cleaned up with some presidential pardons.”
Say, maybe Rudy is Comrade Trump’s stupidest lawyer after all!