I’ll be brief because who knows how long Comcast will let me enjoy my freedom from Net Neutrality today… yesterday I breathed the air of FREEDOM for 6 hours.
But I digress. Bitterly, I digress.
Here’s the stuff that little ol’ snarky me found the most interesting with the GOP’s results last night:
- Dennis Hoff, a Republican who (legally) owns a half dozen brothels in Nevada won his primary for the legislature.
- You-Can-Kiss-Me-South-of-the-Border Rep. Mark Sanford has time on his hands to walk the Appalachian Trail again. This time alone.
- Virginia’s Corey Stewart (Confederacy enthusiast and friend of white supremacists everywhere) will challenge former VP candidate Sen. Tim Kaine.
- Bowling Jacket that took human form, Maine Gov. Paul LePage won’t certify the election results there.
And that’s all you need to know about Republicans as we enter the 2018 Pie Fight.
And for the Dims, well:
- South Carolina’s exhibit A for the #MeToo movement, noted spouse beater Archie Parnell won his Congressional primary. Expect to never hear his name again, as the DNC will wager their Quatloos elsewhere.
- Nevada’s Jackie Rosen won her primary and will now move on to beat Sen. Dean Heller like a red-haired step child’s rented red-haired mule. She won 110K votes in her primary, while Heller won his primary with 100K votes. Buh-bye, Dean!
- Wisconsin gave the Koch Brothers favorite homunculus Gov. Scottie Walker a swirlie and elected two Democrats to fill the empty seats in his pet legislature; he was trying to keep the seats vacant, but the courts intervened and he lost both. One district Comrade Stupid won by 17 points in the 2016 Goat Rodeo, so Walker’s bald spot is sweating bullets. But we are only guessing.
And that’s the state of play this morning.