Now we turn our attention to Paul Manafort, the man trying to turn the ankle bracelet into the must-have fashion accessory this season.
Robert Mueller has filed some fresh charges—witness tampering—and has asked a judge to revoke Manafort’s house arrest and put him in the pokey where he cannot tamper the witnesses no more:
“Prosecutors are accusing former Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort of witness tampering as he awaits trial on conspiracy and money laundering charges, and they asked a judge to end his house arrest and consider pretrial detention.
“Lawyers working for special counsel Robert Mueller filed a motion with the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia on Monday saying they have probable cause to believe that Manafort attempted to tamper with potential witnesses while on pretrial release.”
It gets a little wiggy, you see, because Manafort hisself first tried to contact a witness, who wisely did not delete the message and turned it over to Mueller; Manafort then had one of his minions use another encrypted device to contact these witness AGAIN:
“The documents say Manafort then used a text-message encryption application to contact the witness, writing “This is Paul” and “We should talk.” The witnesses preserved the texts and turned them over to the government.
“Further, the unnamed associate (Person A), also using a text-message encryption application, contacted the other witness (Person D2) to let them know that “My friend P is trying to reach [Person D1] to brief him on what’s going on.”
“Basically P wants to give him a quick summary that he says to everybody (which is true) that our friends never lobbied in the US, and the purpose of the program was [European Union],” Person A said.”
So, you know, 1) using an encryption service to try to secretly contact a witness and leaving a fingerprint, and B) having a loyal stooge, using another encrypted device contact another witness to get the first witness on board with a coordinated story.
But wait! There’s more!
“In previous filings, Person A has been used to designate Konstantin Kilimnik, a Manafort associate who prosecutors believe has ties to Russian intelligence — something Kilimnik has denied.”
If true, Comrade Manafort is comically stupid and royally screwed; Mueller has him in a vice and is tightening it. Let the squealing commence!
We hope that Manafort finds a nice cell (preferably one with a Trump Home Luxury Plush Euro Pillow Top (not wet if you know what I mean and I think you do), for him and his bunky.
(Question for any legal beagles out there: Because Manafort was under house arrest (and therefore in either NY or VA), does his location matter? I mean is this a state or federal crime and could someone, oh, let’s say a mango-hued shitgibbon, could he hypothetically pardon him? Asking for a friend.)