¡Holla, Amoebas! ¿Que Pasta?
We bring you this morning’s exciting news in European Messican because the Messicans there are the power players in our story!
You see, Spain has long been interested in Putin’s pal, Alexander Torshin, for his possible involvement in money laundering and organized crime. Torshin is a prominent Russian banker (which by definition makes him a Pal of Putin), a politician (also makes him a Pal of Putin), and is closely tied to Murrika’s National Rifle Association. Patriots that they are, the NRA will take Ameros from anyone, it seems as long as the check clears.
But I digress.
“José Grinda, who has led investigations by the Spanish government into organized crime in the country, said this week that the FBI had in recent months requested and received transcripts of wiretapped conversations between Torshin and Alexander Romanov, a former Russian banker with connections to the mob who has been convicted of money laundering.”
The FBI has been investigating whether Torshin used the NRA to funnel Russian money into the election to boost Candidate Stupid. (Hint: They Did. Probably. Remember how the NRA broke their usual policy of not endorsing a candidate and even ran ads for Candidate Comrade Trump? Such a coinkydink!)
Not surprisingly, Torshin met with Squiggy at a NRA meeting in 2016, to talk about who know what scheme. Afterall, the Russians are magnetically drawn to Squiggy, like moths to a flame, as we have learned. They cannot help themselves.
When asked if he was concerned about Torshin’s interactions with Trump Jr. or other American political figures, Grinda replied:
“Mr. Trump’s son should be concerned.”
So in one neat-o story we have it all: Russians, Money Laundering, the NRA, the Russian Mob, the 2016 Goat Rodeo, and yes, Squiggy.
So I guess the real contest is going to be who gets indicted first: Squiggy or Fratsputin. Those boys have always been super-competitive for Daddy’s affection.