Paul Ryan Drifts Away On The Kobayashi Maru

I know this may come as a shock to you, Dear Readers, but the GOP is a party of numskulls, racists, bigots, and xenophobes, and has been since, well, pretty much forever. But not all of ’em are ready to put on the white robes (Note: The New Confederacy branch never took them off), so there are a few good apples ruining the whole barrel full of monkeys.

I know, right?

Anyway, with that little background aside, some Republicans (generally from western states, Hi Sen. Dean Heller!) need some progress on immigration, and they are (rightfully) worried about facing their voters while the Dreamers, um, dreams slip away.

So imagine our surprise to see Wingnuttia working with the Dims on Immigration! Some Republicans (not the bigots, or not necessarily the bigots) have come up with four (4!) bills that they want to be brought to a vote. 20 Republicans have signed on!

The most liberal of the bills give amnesty to the Dreamers and offer them a path to citizenship. The others are not so generous, and then there is the Freedom Caucasian, er, Caucus’ bill says that the Dreamers can stay for just three more years, and then presumably be deported. Such a deal!

Anyway, if five more Republicans sign on (along with all the Democrats in the House), then the bills will be brought to a vote using the same parliamentary-fu that Senate Democrats used to force a vote on net neutrality. Tricky!

So, this is Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Paul Ryan’s Kobayashi Maru: An open debate about DACA and immigration in an election season that will piss-off the Hair Führer’s anti-immigrant base in Possum Hollar, or infuriate pro-immigrant voters in swing districts, like in California/Nevada! Or more likely, both!

G’bye House Republicans!

Popcorn, anyone?

And in the immortal words of Peggy Noonan, “Is it irresponsible to speculate? It would be irresponsible not to.”  So let’s imagine that somehow this bipartisan thing makes it through the House and moves into the Senate (and let’s watch Li’l Marco run for the exits. Swoosh!), and then somehow makes it to Prznint Stupid’s desk. No Wall and Amnesty! Possum Hollar would turn on him like rats in a drain if he signed it.

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2 Responses to Paul Ryan Drifts Away On The Kobayashi Maru

  1. Prznint Stupid’s desk. No Wall and Amnesty! Possum Hollar would turn on him like rats in a drain if he signed it.

    I think you misundersestimatize the Cult of Personality he has in Possum Hollar. They can make the Red Queen look like a rank amateur for simultaneously holding diametrically opposed views in their heads, and put Big Brother to shame. “Doublethink? Hol’ mah beer! buuuuurrrp! watch me do quadruplethink!”


  2. RWW says:

    We have a completely unrestrained and lawless president who is being empowered by people around him saying he CANNOT BE INDICTED. He reneges on legislation he’s already signed, he rips up treaties and agreements made by previous presidents, he ignores the constitution and he wants to run the executive branch like he’s a medieval king. We’re getting very close to the point where it won’t matter what Congress passes or whether he signs it or not.


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