Michael Cohen: Renaissance Man

Which one is Cohen?

You guys, what if we’ve been wrong about Michael/Mikhail Cohen? Maybe the pride of the Thomas M. Cooley Law School (reportedly the worst law school in the country) isn’t a buffoon, would be goomba, and a second banana to a world-class Grifter, but instead is an in-demand, honorable, renaissance man of letters and science!

How else can one explain why so many successful and important multi-national conglomerates with hundreds of billions of Ameros in revenue and  thousands of employees paid Cohen for his advice and insight? And for what?

Let’s look!

AT&T says that its $200,000 in payments were made in order to gain insights into understanding the new administration.

Columbus Nova said it paid Cohen half a million dollars to act as a business consultant.

South Korea’s Korea Aerospace Industries Ltd (K.A.I.), says it paid Cohen $150,000 for accounting advice.

Novartis AG Novartis AG says that its $1.2 million contract with Cohen was focused on U.S. health-care policy matters.

All of these companies assure us that their payments were strictly on the up-and-up and in no way should theses fees and honorarium be seen as bribes.

Pay no attention t0 the fact that:

  • AT&T is fighting an anti-trust lawsuit by the Department of Justice; you might have heard sumpin’ bout that from Comrade Stupid. Clue: CNN
  • Columbus Nova biggest investor is owned by Russian oligarch Viktor Vekselberg. cannot imagine why the Russians would want to funnel money to Comrade Prznint.
  • K.A.I is bidding for a multi-billion-dollar contract with the U.S. Air Force.
  • Novartis said after its only sit-down meeting with Cohen to “discuss specific issues and strategies” that it was disappointed, and they concluded Cohen would likely be unable “to deliver.” Instead of trying to cancel the contract and payment, they “allowed it to lapse early in 2018 and not run the risk of “ticking-off the president,”  which is totally what you learn in business school. Pay the dude $1M+ Ameros for misrepresenting himself and defrauding you. Business 101 class. D’uh. They teach that at Stanford I’m told.

So, you see, Cohen is a genius, a true Leonardo DiCaprio, er, da Vinci. Accountant, healthcare policy expert, bidness consultant, and insight-giver. I suppose the REAL question is how did these gigantic, multinational corporations learn about Cohen’s teeny-tiny, one-man LLC That was set up to pay hush money to knocked-up bunnies and other assorted sex workers on behalf of one (maybe two?) clients? The company, which Cohen set up just before the 2016 Goat Rodeo to silence Stormy Daniels, does not have a Web site or any employees. Perhaps some journalist might wanna look into that.

Cohen’s Essential Consultants LLC is as good and honorable bidness as Michael Cohen is a good and honorable lawyer, and totally not just Comrade Stupid’s stupidest lawyer. (Sorry Rudy!)



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8 Responses to Michael Cohen: Renaissance Man

  1. roket says:

    Yes, all of these companies assure us that their payments were strictly on the up-and-up and that’s why none of the payments are in increments of greater than $100K. No?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Osirisopto says:

      To an LLC which is as far as I know a legalized shell corporation in which sole proprietors can pool their resources and shield themselves from liability while still enjoying the freedoms and limited transparency of sole proprietorships.

      Q: who were the other principals of the LLC? Did they have a propensity for putting their name on things in tall brass letters?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Osirisopto says:

    Yeah, well What about Wiener’s dick pics?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. w3ski4me says:

    I don’t expect a tidal wave of people to become “anti tRump”, but I wonder when the tipping point will come. Perhaps, has it come already?
    Eventually the sheer weight of all these acts of Mob like Criminality will come home to roost. Hiring Guilani as a “Lawyer”? There was an idiot move. Changing the story each week or more and right before an interview with the Prosecutor? “Brilliant”
    Eventually this house of cards will come crashing down. I Do Believe that now.
    tRump brought down by a Porn Star? Whatever does it works for me.
    Stormy Daniels, Savior of our Country?
    “You Go Girl”
    We didn’t get a Woman President but perhaps our amateur president can be brought down by a Woman?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. RWW says:

    Well look, Trump “drained the swamp” and found nothing but piles of money to line the pockets of all his friends and a few million bucks for himself. The deplorables call this smart business and love him all the more for it. I’m sure a good chunk of them concluded also that it wouldn’t have happened if God hadn’t wanted it to, so suck it up libtards.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. StonyPillow says:

    Secret White House visitor logs for $100, Alex.

    Liked by 1 person

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