The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name: Comrade Stupid and Mel

Yes, Scissorheads, today we turn our attention to love, or maybe more specifically to whatever is the transaction going on between Comrade Stupid and Melanoma.

The WaPo reports that Mel is not actually living with Comrade Stupid any more, as was rumored that Pickles had moved into the Mayflower and away from Chimpy during his Reign Of Error.

Who could blame her?

The failed courtesan press may have gotten that impression because Melanoma stayed in Manhattan for five months after the inauguration (not counting contractual Florida weekend booty calls at Merde-a-Lardo; only guessing of course), or because she and the pornstar-banging shit gibbon travel separately to the same events, or because Mel looked happier with the Obamas, Clinton’s, and Bushes at Babs-the-Impaler’s burnt offerings funeral than she has any time during her marriage. Mel seemingly would rather chew on a razor blade or give head to King Kong than to hold Comrade Stupid’s short-fingered hand. Who knows where that thing has been?

According to the WaPo, the Trumps “are often apart even during their free time,” holidays, and weekends, well, any day ending in “Y” and rarely dine together when they’re both at the White House; maybe Mel doesn’t like Big Macs, or hanging out with the teevee blaring whichever Fox News show happens to be on, hmmm? Ever think of that, WaPo?

When they are both in the same cursed place, Mel avoids The Donald. “She seldom sets foot in the West Wing,” said a person with firsthand knowledge of the situation. (Ivanka, is that you?)

Admittedly, Mel has not tried to tunnel out of 1600 (yet?) or under the cover of darkness hop the fence like a common Nunes, the WaPo assures us that sources close to the lovebirds (the Russian Usurper and Mel, we mean) insist this is an epic, romantic, Shakespearean sonnet brought to life (I suggest #130, but without the final couplet, and told from her perspective and not his…), you know if one forgets about the oodles of porn stars and Playboy Bunnies the Prznint has (ALLEGEDLY) banged, including the one his Stupidest Lawyer Michael/Mikhail Cohen (sorry Rudy) DEFINITELY paid $130K Ameros to keep quiet about spanking Candidate Stupid with a copy of Forbes before settling down to the traditional trumpian post coital afterglow of watching Shark Week. As one does.

And I still think old Malcolm Forbes is grinning over that, somewhere beyond this veil of tears, and wondering how to get that into his marketing materials. Bet he could sell re-issues of that edition at CPAC. Literally a GOP spank bank.

This entry was posted in Lord Damp Nut, The Russian Usurper, Melancholia Trump, snark. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name: Comrade Stupid and Mel

  1. Redhand says:

    That photo is one for the ages, a real work of art. Provenance?


    • Bruce388 says:

      I believe that photo of the happy couple was snapped at a luncheon on inauguration day, which is not capitalized because it was a tragedy.

      As far as Melanoma’s happiness goes, Ann Landers said decades ago that people who marry for money earn every cent.


  2. RWW says:

    It won’t take much more for the unwashed horde to turn on her, label her a libtard, and start burning her in effigy. Comrade Stupid must go apeshit everyday when he checks the poll numbers and sees Melanoma is way more popular than he is, but then so is herpes.


  3. w3ski4me says:

    I would feel sorry for her, as I would with most other humans stuck in that bad of a relationship, except, She did it for the money. The sour looks and crying at the Inauguration was likely because that meant she had to stick with that pig for another 4 to 8 years according to her “papers”. No sympathy from me.
    Also, here we call her “Melon-ia” Not “Melanoma”. Just for the shits and giggles.


    • StonyPillow says:

      And just as the massive PR campaign to rehabilitate her image starts kicking in, more plagiarism. Keep telling yourself -just another birther.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. donnah says:

    Photographic proof of “making one’s bed and having to lie in it”, except she’s doing her best to avoid that bed. I feel zero sympathy for her and am mildly pissed that she has the nerve and lack of awareness to promote an anti-bully message, much of which policy was plagiarized from Michele Obama’s work. Melania should be stuck with the bloated bastard for the rest of her life. If he’s in such stellar condition as his doctors have said, that should be a long, miserable time.

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. 9thousandfeet says:

    Her nickname around this altitude is “Melancholia”, and as the stone-faced East European hooker who decided to service (so far as we know) only one client, she deserves every minute of her current imprisonment.

    And it’s “vale” of tears, FFS, not “veil”.
    Although on second thoughts, veil kinda works in this situation too, since the truth is always hiding behind some goddam thing with the shitgibbon’s entire odious and squalid fucking family.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Parfigliano says:

    The hooker deserves zero sympathy. She should have picked a better John.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ralph Wiggam says:

    I resent the nickname Melanoma. I’ve had melanoma and it is not nearly as painful as watching her with here clothes on.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Love the Tuff Darts reference, TG.

    Liked by 1 person

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