Yes, Scissorheads, today we turn our attention to love, or maybe more specifically to whatever is the transaction going on between Comrade Stupid and Melanoma.
The WaPo reports that Mel is not actually living with Comrade Stupid any more, as was rumored that Pickles had moved into the Mayflower and away from Chimpy during his Reign Of Error.
Who could blame her?
The failed courtesan press may have gotten that impression because Melanoma stayed in Manhattan for five months after the inauguration (not counting contractual Florida weekend booty calls at Merde-a-Lardo; only guessing of course), or because she and the pornstar-banging shit gibbon travel separately to the same events, or because Mel looked happier with the Obamas, Clinton’s, and Bushes at Babs-the-Impaler’s
burnt offerings funeral than she has any time during her marriage. Mel seemingly would rather chew on a razor blade or give head to King Kong than to hold Comrade Stupid’s short-fingered hand. Who knows where that thing has been?
According to the WaPo, the Trumps “are often apart even during their free time,” holidays, and weekends, well, any day ending in “Y” and rarely dine together when they’re both at the White House; maybe Mel doesn’t like Big Macs, or hanging out with the teevee blaring whichever Fox News show happens to be on, hmmm? Ever think of that, WaPo?
When they are both in the same cursed place, Mel avoids The Donald. “She seldom sets foot in the West Wing,” said a person with firsthand knowledge of the situation. (Ivanka, is that you?)
Admittedly, Mel has not tried to tunnel out of 1600 (yet?) or under the cover of darkness hop the fence like a common Nunes, the WaPo assures us that sources close to the lovebirds (the Russian Usurper and Mel, we mean) insist this is an epic, romantic, Shakespearean sonnet brought to life (I suggest #130, but without the final couplet, and told from her perspective and not his…), you know if one forgets about the oodles of porn stars and Playboy Bunnies the Prznint has (ALLEGEDLY) banged, including the one his Stupidest Lawyer Michael/Mikhail Cohen (sorry Rudy) DEFINITELY paid $130K Ameros to keep quiet about spanking Candidate Stupid with a copy of Forbes before settling down to the traditional trumpian post coital afterglow of watching Shark Week. As one does.
And I still think old Malcolm Forbes is grinning over that, somewhere beyond this veil of tears, and wondering how to get that into his marketing materials. Bet he could sell re-issues of that edition at CPAC. Literally a GOP spank bank.