Trump’s Razor: Ascertain the stupidest possible scenario that can be reconciled with the available facts and that answer is likely correct.
We thought we should remind everyone of that at the top of the post before we dive into the news.
Comrade Stupid’s newest Legal Beagle and infamous 911 Marketing Manager, Rudy Giuliani, said on Wednesday—that Candidate Stupid reimbursed his fixer, Michael/Mikhail Cohen, on the ol’ lay-away scheme, which oddly seems to have p.o.’ed the Prznint.
So on Friday Comrade Stupid said that:
“Rudy is a great guy, but he just started a day ago,” the president said while addressing reporters outside the White House. “But he really has his heart into it. He’s working hard. He’s learning the subject matter.”
Trump added: “He’ll get his facts straight.”
The Donald claims that he never had a Forbes Magazine Happy Ending with porn star Stormy Daniels, and that unknown to himself, his stupidest lawyer, Michael/Mikhail Cohen paid her $130K Ameros keep quiet about a spanking he never enjoyed. Nice work if you can get it.
Then Prznint Stupid decided to give Cohen $35K Ameros per month for general cover-up work. And none of this had anything to do with the 2016 Goat Rodeo. (Nice work if you can get it, and you can get it if you try!)
What Prznint Stupid and America’s Lawyer are trying to do, Lemony Snicket-style, is find a series of unfortunate events that doesn’t involve either Stupid or Stupidest breaking the law.
Rudy Screwed the pooch on National TeeVee when he suggested the hush money was related to the election, which makes Stupid guilty of failing to report it as a campaign contribution.
Prznint Stupid felt had to correct him, and for good measure threw in “a witch hunt,” you know, to add some drama and veracity. No one who is guilty of anything can say anything about a witch hunt and not be turned into a mango hued shitgibbon. True fact. Oh, wait.
So Friday, Rudy said that the payment was to spare Melanoma embarrassment (Clue: Too Late!) and had nothing Nothing NOTHING to do with the election, YOU KNOW, despite happening 2 weeks before it.
Stupid and Stupider. Worst buddy film ever.
Keep talking boys. Maybe you’ll find a way to prove Trump’s Razor wrong.