Babs-The-Impaler Update

The Map of Hell by Botticelli — Babs goes apartment hunting

The media is going full-bore (see what I did there?) covering the entombment of Babs-the-Impaler. NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and other channels will present live coverage of Saturday’s funeral. The broadcast network coverage will begin at noon ET.

I suppose everyone wants to witness the entombment of the cambion, and make sure the welds on the lead box are strong. I still recommend Fukushima Daiichi as the proper final resting place, but I suppose any Hell Mouth will do.

  • 4 former presidents: In addition to both former Presidents Bush, the 1,500 attendees will include former President Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton, former President Obama and Michelle Obama, First Lady Melania Trump, Dan and Marilyn Quayle, and Dick and Lynn Cheney.
  • As eulogists for the 90-minute service, Mrs. Bush chose her son Jeb, personal friend and confidant Susan Baker, and historian Jon Meacham.

She had to take one last swipe at Chimpy, which I kinda admire. Even in death, her decoction is pure meanness.

When the Bush Crime Family plays the traditional Taps  on their armpits, it will be very moving.

UPDATE 1: Hope they have silver bullets, as is custom. Just in case —

UPDATE 2: We afraid of her then

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14 Responses to Babs-The-Impaler Update

  1. Bruce388 says:

    Sure, Babs picked Jeb. She had a choice between smart and dumb and went with smart.

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  2. RWW says:

    She was always overprivileged so this is working out quite nicely for her.

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  3. Osirisopto says:

    I was afraid you were going to tell us she had risen from the dead and was demanding human sacrifice.

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  4. HarpoSnarx says:

    I’m purdy sure mean ole Lucifer will assign Mommy Raygun as Bar’s account-a-bil-a-buddy in the Underworld. Hilarity ensues.
    One for this world, a photo of 44 charmin’ Melania during the service and his Better Half seems to plotting how to gut him like a fish. I image the West Wing lunges for you know who’s twit thing. Oh and the witty banter from the NOT RACIAL New Confederacy.

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  5. Redhand says:

    “cambion” – had to look it up. Same with “decoction.” To me she iwas pure “harradan,”, i.e. “a strict, bossy, or belligerent old woman,” or “a vicious and scolding woman, especially an older one.”
    At least she hated Trump.

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  6. Nora Daly says:

    Update #2 – fascinating read – not sure how I missed it before!

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  7. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Barbara Bush’s Secret Service detail, several of whom have been been with her for decades, refuse to leave her side until she is buried. Very powerful.

    They need to make sure she’s been properly staked.

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  8. Dimitrios says:

    If they can ever expunge the smell of brimstone seeping from their clothes, Babs old Secret Service detail can be reassigned to protect others who are not clinging to life through necromancy and sheer cussedness.

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  9. Batman 54 says:

    How quickly we forget. It was Bar the Impaler. Not Babs. Otherwise, most excellent.

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    • tengrain says:

      It’s been Babs-the-Impaler since this blog started during Chimpy’s Reign of Error. Our pal Scissorhead D-Cap dubbed her that and it has stuck all these years later. We’re proud that MPS is the first hit when you Google it. I think our earliest use was in 2007.

      Rgds,

      TG

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  10. Batman 54 says:

    I stand corrected. Thanks for pointing it out. Was going by what HW would call her.

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