I’d Ask For A Rewrite

“Oh, gross,” said the fish

If this were an episode of anything less than Benny Hill, I’d send it back for a rewrite:

HEWITT: “If one of these bigs, like if Jeff Bezos, who’s a pretty smart guy, comes in and says hey, Mr. Speaker, come join the board of Amazon, or Google, or Netflix, one of the bigs, would you do that, because it seems to me Silicon Valley, as Mark Zuckerberg said, is so left wing.” …

[Ed. – it would be pretty weird for Bezos to invite ZEGS to be on the board of Google or Netflix, but as Driftglass says, Eww Ewwitt is a cyborg sent from the future to destroy us, so maybe he knows sumpin’?]

RYAN: “I have no clue, Hugh. I, it’s weird. My mind, I’m a fairly disciplined person. And the way I do this stuff is that’s, those are things I’m going to figure out later. They’re, I’m a cause guy. You know, I’m a cause guy. I came from the think tank world, worked my way up, and then got elected to Congress when I was 28 years old. So I’m obviously going to keep staying involved in these causes that we all believe in. That’s the one thing I know.

“There’s charities I care about, causes I care about, upward mobility and poverty are issues that are really near and dear to my heart. And that’s what I know I’ll do. And other than that, you know, we’ll figure all that stuff out. And honestly, I just don’t think I should be spending my time thinking about that with all this work yet to do this year. And I can figure that stuff out in 2019, after taking my wife to the beach.”

You know, I believe ZEGS when he says he’s a Cause Guy (hey! Ayn Rand is too a cause!), and I even believe him when he says that he cares about upward mobility and poverty. What he never says is which side of upward mobility and poverty he is on. And we all know the answer to that.

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5 Responses to I’d Ask For A Rewrite

  1. “…upward mobility and poverty are issues that are really near and dear to my heart.”

    Which is why he’s spent his entire career trying to kill the first and increase the second…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. roket says:

    “Thanks for giving me that question in advance, Eww,” Speaker Bimbo did not say.

    Like

  3. Pyed Typer says:

    I didn’t know that granny-starving could be an avocation, but I guess ZEGS will be using some of his time expanding into grampa-starving, so he doesn’t go stale.

    Like

  4. Sirius Lunacy says:

    He IS a cause guy. He caused the deficit to go ballistic, he caused the wealth gap to go atomic and he caused grannies to starve.

    Like

  5. RWW says:

    So many soup kitchens need their already washed dishes washed again by a politician doing a photo-op. Ryan better get busy.

    Like

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