Amply Be-Chinned Mitch McConnell Designs Kobayashi Maru Test

Amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell

The much-dismissed and beleaguered Congressional Budget Office (Motto: “Republicans punch us, mock us, and pay no attention to us”) released a report warning of the economic doom we can expect thanks to the Billions for Billionaires tax bill, and actual, real-life economists and people with basic math skillz (take a bow, Scissorheads!) said, “oh crap, we’re totally eff’ed in the dark.”

But not amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell, who read the news and said to hisself, chins jiggling like a basset hound sprinting the quarter mile in the Basset Hound olympics, “How can I eff this up even MORE?”

“Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is weighing whether to force a vote on making the GOP’s temporary tax cuts for individuals permanent.

“The Kentucky Republican told reporters Tuesday the chamber “may” hold a vote this year on extending the tax cuts. While the 2017 law provided permanent tax cuts on corporations, tax cuts for regular people expire in 2027 due to Senate rule constraints.”

Now, of course McConnell would need to get some Dims on board to make this happen, so it won’t, but his evil brain sees the calculus thusly: it’s the 2018 Pie Fight. And McConnell will be able to wattle his chins in outrage and declare, “Ah tried, y’all, but them heathen libs hate  ‘Murika and YOU in partic-ya-lah. Bless thar hearts.”


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2 Responses to Amply Be-Chinned Mitch McConnell Designs Kobayashi Maru Test

  1. roket says:

    Turtles can sometimes be confused with snakes. Especially when they stick their little heads out of the water.


  2. Pyed Typer says:

    I have a problem with Mitch, He reminds me too much of Bert, the Duck and Cover Turtle. I was only in grade two, but I knew if that little monkey had set off a hydrogen, or even an atomic bomb, Bert would never have pulled his head out to saunter on his way down the street. No, Bert would have been a radiated cinder on the half-shell, bless his heart.

    I was only seven and already the cynicism was setting in,


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