Asshole Shrugged*

And so it is time to grab the bull by the tail and face the situation, or put more classily: I come not to praise Paul Ryan but to bury him.

Separated at Birth.jpg

Since nearly the inception of Mock Paper Scissors, Paul Ryan (the emptiest suit in DC) has been an object of our scorn.


From his days of Snidely Whiplash wannabe to the Zombie-eyed Granny-starver (thanks Charlie!), we’ve focused on him as few others. Whether he was washing already cleaned dishes as the running mate of The Stench, or explaining to us how Magic Asterisks were going to save us from deficits, everything this man did was a fraud, and our failed Media let him get away with it. “Oh, look, he created a Powerpoint, he must be a wonk. Dreeeeeeeeamy eyes, too.”

“Trust me, girl.”

There is no one in Washington — possibly no one in America — whose reputation for basic competence outstrips the reality more than Paul Ryan.

Compare and contrast

People with actual policy expertise have been pointing this out for years.


I visited THOMAS to see what the Zombie-Eyed Granny-Starver’s record is. Three bills since 2000. That’s it: he named a Post Office in Janesville, he modified a tax on hunting arrows, and his third bill was to establish another sub-committee for Jason Chaffetz’s government oversight committee. Policy wank is more accurate.


ZEGS is leaving DC riding his high horse on a low road. Ryan is nothing more than Donald Trump’s sycophantic yes man.

“Oh, gross,” said the fish

ZEGS’ remora-like sucking up to power is his legacy, that and a Republican-led Congress that abandoned its constitutional check and balance to an out-of-control and lawless president.

* I stole Asshole Shrugged from Scissorhead RWW, and I’m not apologizing!

This entry was posted in Zombie-eyed Granny-starving. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Asshole Shrugged*

  1. We’re standing in the aisles, arms raised, waving our hands “Preach it, Brother!”

    Good riddance to bad rubbish.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dennis Cole says:

    The timing is rather consequential, wouldn’t you say, TG? tRump’s lawyer has his offices & homes “invaded” by the Fibbies, and suddenly he can see the writing on the wall? Knock me over with a feather. And now there’s speculation he’ll be replaced by July. Remember that comment I made about the centipede dropping shoes all over the place?


  3. YellowDog says:

    In the land of the blind, the one with PowerPoint is king.


  4. C Montgomery Burns says:

    Can I add my fav?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. roket says:

    Ryan folds because he can’t run on tax cuts ever again. Now all he has to do is hope and pray that the deficit doesn’t quadruple before he leaves office.


  6. Ali Redford says:

    This piece is genius.


  7. H-Bob says:

    Isn’t it “I got mine, now I want yours !”

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Redhand says:

    His nauseating desire to sacrifice ordinary Americans on the altar of his Randian fantasy is outdone only by his craven cowardice in failing to stand up to Trump’s authoritarianism. Lawrence O’Donnell calls Ryan the worst Speaker in our history. He’s right.


  9. RWW says:

    I heard one of ZEGS’s fluffers comment that “Ryan was more comfortable with a powerpoint than the Speaker’s gavel”. Then, I remembered his “Budget Plan” powerpoint that didn’t contain any numbers and I fell over laughing.


    • tengrain says:

      Everytime I got to one of those asterisks, I heard my project management mentor say, “And then a miracle occurs.”




Comments are closed.