Ivanka, The First Shady, Joins The Club!

The First Shady, Ivanka Trump, has officially joined the big boys club: the FBI is investigating her!!! Congrats on shattering that glass ceiling, Ivanka!!1! #MeToo takes on a whole new meaning for you now, huh?

Anyway, the FBI is booking some Ivanka Spa time at the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Vancouver.

Trump International Hotel Vancouver is one of the Trump projects to open after the Russians made him prznint, and Ivanka was allegedly the one to close the deal or sumpin. The money came from Malaysia, not from Russia; the Trumps just brand stuff, they don’t actually build jack.

“In the case of Vancouver, it’s not clear why investigators are examining this particular deal. The timing of the deal — as one of the few Trump-branded properties to open since Trump took office — could be of interest. The flow of foreign money, either from the developer or international condo buyers, could also be sparking scrutiny.”

Oh, so it could be money laundering (but I’m only guessing).

Now, no one knows for sure why the FBI is so interested (CNN couldn’t find that part out), but anyone under active FBI investigation is gonna have a hard time getting a security clearance, so Jarvanka might both be private citizens before too long. And not to get to Hope Hicks-full, but maybe she is gonna have a nice chat with Mr. Mueller before too long? Maybe while getting a mani-pedi at her damn spa?

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2 Responses to Ivanka, The First Shady, Joins The Club!

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    They grow up so fast. One day, they’re getting their first plastic surgery, the next thing you know, they’re being hauled off by the law for interrogation.

    Liked by 1 person

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