How To Argue About Guns in Schools

You WILL improve your posture!

[Ed – This is a reprise from last year, after a previous school shooting when the NRA helpfully had their stooges rant on about selling more guns to teachers, but it still seems relevant. — TG]

One of my friends, a really nice lady most of the time, is also one of the few remaining Republicans in NorCal. She generally means well, does not have a racist bone in her body (her grandchildren are blended-race kids, gorgeous, and she’s very proud of them), and she doesn’t go too far into conspiracy theories (which are usually her downfall: she believes what she is told way too often). Anyway, we get along fine as long as we stay away from politics.

Today, we went crashing into politics.

“It wouldn’t have happened if the schools allowed the employees to carry firearms,” she told me or words to that effect, but absolutely parroting the NRA talking points. It set me off.

To which –as a sonofalawyer–I could only reply, “Let’s think this through. What calibre do you suggest? What model? Automatic or manual? Rifle, hand gun, something else? If you are going to propose this, you need to have a standard gun issued, so what will it be?”

Do the staff shoot to kill or just to wound? What if the target is one of the students, does that change things? Will teachers have immunity from prosecution for shooting their students or other people on the campus?

You want to train Teacher Union members how to shoot guns? (I swear she flinched at that point, it was pretty funny.) What will be the certification process to prove that they’re good shots. What about the substitute teachers? Will teachers get better guns as they go up the pay scale? What happens if a good teacher is a poor shot? What if the teacher doesn’t want to shoot anyone? Do you fire him or her? What happens when the teachers go on strike? Do you train the scabs?

Who is going to pay for the guns, the ammo, the training? What’s the insurance policy going to cost to cover accidents, or stolen guns being used in other crimes? How often do you replace the ammo to keep it fresh? How do you budget yearly ammo? How do you account for it at the end of the year? What happens if some ammo goes missing?

How much ammo should schools have on hand? Where will these weapons be stored? How will they be stored? Where will the ammo be stored? Where will this stuff go during the summer and when school in not in session?

I don’t know if it changed her mind (I doubt it), but I think she will be careful about saying stuff like this around me again.

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9 Responses to How To Argue About Guns in Schools

  1. Karla says:

    Fantastic. Thanks for reposting. As the ammosexual arguments never change, this is great to have in the back pocket.


  2. roket says:

    All that would be required is a license to kill. That way we can dispense with this paddling bullshit.


  3. miroker says:

    let us not forget that arming teachers will put guns inside the school, making it easier for a shooter to procure weapons to kill.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. nonnie9999 says:

    The substitute teachers will only be required to be proficient in pistol-whipping.


  5. donnah says:

    “…but it will still be relevant”.

    This is the heartbreaking part.


  6. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    I just have to note that there’s no such thing as ‘shooting to wound’. Guns are made to kill, period.

    “Shoot him in the leg!” Uh, there’s a big femoral artery in there, target’s going to bleed out. If you are going to shoot someone, you shoot at center body mass in order to increase your chances of hitting. In rare cases in which the target is wearing body armor, chancing a head shot may be necessary. If you’re not willing to kill the target, you simply don’t shoot.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Osirisopto says:

    I know. They’ll train all the teachers to shoot the gun out of the psychopaths hand.

    They’ll get a $50 bonus if they can shoot a bullet up the barrel of the ar-15, thus exploding the gun in the face of the mass murderer.

    Then we’ll issue Ninja Shoes to all the teachers so they can run up walls, fly through the air doing back flips to surprise the whack-jobs from behind while rescuing the hostages, teaching linear equations, planning the recycling fund drive.

    Don’t forget the assault golf cart.

    IOW trump is a mall ninja.

    Liked by 1 person

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