Rehabbing Louise Linton

Living typo Steve Mnunchin and his villainess wife, Craven Moorehead

This Louise Linton article in Elle is just… awful.

Louise Linton has accomplished the near-impossible task of locating an ordinary meeting place in the most moneyed stretch of the Upper East Side, where she and her husband, U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Steven Mnuchin, own an apartment… But for our meeting, she has selected the humble Three Guys restaurant, a bustling family diner and an oasis of normalcy in a land of excess. I will meet Louise Linton, the 37-year-old woman most frequently described as the Marie Antoinette of our current era, at a place that serves mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers.

Later on you learn that the apartment is in addition to the $12.6M Amero home in D.C., you know, that she finally! has decorated to her liking:

The elephant in the room is the great, if not overwhelming, likelihood that she will not have any long-term use for this etiquette training, given the volatility of the Trump administration. One would imagine this possibility is a relief for Linton. And yet she hates to think about it. “Especially because I just finished decorating my house, and I just started making friends in DC,” she sighs.

Best bit: a throw-away story about how she befriended a homeless man in Los Angeles because she was concerned about his dog. The homeless guy? Not so much. But, you know, in these kinds of puffery pieces there is the moment of redemption.

We learn that Elle fact-checked the dog story, and lo! Linton is a good person:

Richard, over the phone, tells me that he knows Linton is a good person because his dog loves her. “You can’t fool an animal. Dogs read people,” he says.

So, not totally Cruella DeVille!

It just goes on and on! She likes the SnapChat Filters that turn her and her husband into pigs (big stretch right there), and of course the Yin/Yang redemption:

“I didn’t even know she had Snapchat,” her press rep says, faintly concerned.

I mean, why is the press rep worried, what could go wrong? Oh, yeah, that.

It’s really a tour-de-farce attempt to make Linton seem like she’s jus’ regular folk (who grew up in a Scottish castle and lives a life of ridiculous leisure and bleached-white privilege), and by the end of it I felt sorry for the wretched author who got the short straw at the assignment desk.

One last quote:

Linton thinks ruefully about the long leather gloves and the black skirt, which are currently hanging, unloved and radioactive, in her closet. “I really hope someday I can wear that outfit again,” she says. “Because I really liked it.”

(Hat tip: Scissorhead Fran)

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7 Responses to Rehabbing Louise Linton

  1. StonyPillow says:

    De rigueur fashion accessories for the day after the oligarchs take the reins.

    She can keep hoping.


  2. That ‘bustling family diner and an oasis of normalcy in a land of excess’ offers such ‘normal’ items as a ‘deluxe’ cheeseburger (the ‘deluxe’ items are lettuce, tomato, pickle and fries…) for $15 or two egg and bacon for $13.

    Now I know I’m just a hopeless hick out here in hick-land Yew Ess Ayy and could never comprehend how those in the rarified environs of a ‘oasis of normalcy’ on the upper East Side live, but believe me, I pay seventeen bucks for a burger it had better come with more than the basics…

    (Also said as someone who lived in the suburbs (we could brag it was ‘Hastings on Hudson’, but it was really just the northeast tip of Yonkers by the river 🙂 married to someone who grew up in the Westchester suburbs and worked down in the City…so not really ‘hicks’. Yeah I know stuff down in the City is expensive, but this is just excessive. I’ve eaten in real Greek diners in NYC, not this pretend one…)


  3. laura says:

    I sure hope she can don the Evil Villain outfit soon too. It’s gonna look great as she rides the tumbrel on the way to her well deserved date with destiny.
    Hell, I’d volunteer to place a helpful shim under the guitine, should it be ever so slightly off level. Because I’m a helper!


  4. osirisopto says:

    I remember Paris Hilton’s second trip to the jail, but she was just stupidly famous for being famous stupidly.

    This one, being conniving, disingenuous and manipulative both deserves it more, and more of it.


  5. another kiwi says:

    It was pretty nausea inducing to read it, though I think the poor reporter did slip in a few stilettos of mock.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. C Montgomery Burns says:

    Wasn’t she in Hunger Games?


  7. Retiredeng says:

    She’ll never shake that Mnunchin stink off. Ever.


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