Mike Pence’s Roadshow

Governor Mike Pence signs Indiana’s We Don’t Serve Your Kind into law with the approving gaze of Indiana’s various mullahs, clerics, and militia tribesmen.

I’m not opposed to walking termite buffett Mike Pence going on the road, it’s the return trip that bums me out.

Let’s start with the Winter Olympics in South Korea where Pence is leading the American athletes. No worries, Mother is along lest Mike be tempted by any nubile snake-filled she-devils.

Anyway, as you may have heard, the handful of openly gay athletes are refusing to have anything to do with him. He’s telling them that he’s their straight buddy and they are victims of FAKE NEWS!!1!

The ‘mos didn’t fall for it, especially ice skater Adam Ripoon who has been outspoken:

“You mean Mike Pence, the same Mike Pence that funded gay conversion therapy? I’m not buying it.”

And homophobia’s Exhibit A response thus responded directly to Rippon:

“Take the apple,” Pence hissed, “take a big bite.”

So, you know, marooned in South Korea, Pence’s charm offensive (very offensive, in fact) continues as an ersatz two-Korea diplomatic mission with photo-ops. As some spokesperson (Hogan Gidley, was it you?) from the Fourth Reich put it, “[Pence is] going to ensure that from a messaging standpoint that it isn’t turned into two weeks of propaganda.”

Everyone loves a scold who shows up at a dinner party who then lobs insults at the host’s other guests.

Now, on to the 2018 Pie Fight…

During last week’s Republican Party retreat in West Virginia, after colliding with a garbage truck, GOPers laid out a grim picture for the 2018 Pie Fight. Democrats are expected to swarm Congress like guests at Andrew Jackson’s cheese platter, destroying whatever is left of the Republican legislative agenda (killing the poors? Yes.) and selling popcorn at the on-going saga of the Little Kremlin-On-The-Potomac. Comrade Stupid’s right flank will be exposed and that’s enough of that visual.

Anyway, the short version of their plan to thwart the Dims is to send Pence (and Mother) out on the road, to talk to the unwashed fascist rabble and to fleece the high-end blue blood donors.

This is a neat trick for even the smoothest of forked tongues: how do you dangle red meat demagoguery  with a pinkie finger raised? In the days before cell phone video you could lie to one group or the other and never the twain did meet. This is what befell Willard’s Run.

So, the very wooden Mr. Pence has his work cut out for him, and more accurately the termites of many nations are salivating.

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6 Responses to Mike Pence’s Roadshow

  1. ming says:

    Somebody needs to keep that guy away from the giant stash of condoms at the Olympic Village. He would totally ruin it for everyone.

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  2. Mike Pence wants to pretend his sheer awfulness to the LGBT community was in the past or has been misconstrued, but right before he was signed on the be the dummy in Trump’s passenger seat so he could use the HOV lane to the White House, he was supporting a bill in Indiana for “religious freedom” for private businesses to deny services to gay and trans people. We remember who the hell he is even if he wants to forget it.

    Also, there’s something plain weird about Pence’s name not being on a whole heck of a lot of documentation regarding the Trump transition. There’s “plausible deniability”, and then there’s “really freaking improbable deniability”. You take a look at the evangelicals with their straightest of faces on, lately, regarding Trump. They are waiting with bated breath for the gilded gadfly to get on so the Whited Supulchre can step in and give government that ol’ time religion but good.

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  3. laura says:

    My biggest hope, dream, desire in these Winters Games (besides USA sibs taking the gold medal in Curling) is Johnny Weir getting Fat Termite in an on air interview/shade court.

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  4. Osirisopto says:

    My biggest hope for these Olympics is that South Korea having finally realized the US has abandoned any semblance of diplomacy and cares less about them than about our own homeless will begin building diplomatic relations with North Korea and without pressure from US warmongers and find a way to end the insanity of that particular relic of the Cold War era.

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