Donny Does Davos
Stable genius and noted Forbes magazine enthusiast Comrade Trump entered Davos—and we’re not kidding—was backed by a marching band. We note that no one else did that.
In a grand entrance, Trump strolled through a forest of smartphones held up to capture his arrival at the World Economic Forum. When someone asked the interloper whether the globalists would treat him well, he shot back: “You tell me.”
Acting presidential for 15 minutes is a low bar, but he managed to muddle through somehow.
Comrade Preznint did his best impersonation of a middle tier city’s chamber of commerce pitching to a franchise to open on Main Street. The Russian Usurper said that there has never been a better time to invest in America and bragged about his YUGE corporate tax cut (and per usual gave the credit to himself and not to amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell). Like a chamber leader offering sweet, sweet tax incentives to relocate, he literally told the titans at Davos: “We have tremendous amounts of money.”
Preznint Stupid talked about gutting regulations, reminding us of his two-for-one deal (for every new regulation proposed two must be scrapped), now sounding like a Main Street franchise operator with a barn-buster Black Friday offer. “Two bags of googly eyes for the price of one!”
Modestly, Preznint Stupid implied that he had rescued the United States from being some kind of, well, economic shithole: “The world is witnessing the resurgence of a strong and prosperous America.”
Stupid claimed that his America First policies are good for the world, because when he tears-up trade agreements and slaps tariffs on imports, it’s good because unfair economic practices undermines us all.
Tiger Beat on the Potomac’s best two paragraphs:
“President Donald Trump came to Davos and gave a pro-growth, pro-America message exactly the way his economic team wanted him to say it: In calm, coherent words designed to reassure foreign skeptics.
“Then, once prepared remarks were over, Trump took a couple questions and gave a pro-growth, pro-America message exactly the way he wanted to say it: In blustery, discursive words that fit precisely the dim view many in the audience already held of the U.S. leader.”
Tiger Beat again:
“He boasted with no self-effacement of how good he was at building things or turning around failing enterprises — “I’ve always been very successful at making money” — and said when he was in business he always got very positive media coverage. “It wasn’t until I became a politician,” he complained, that “I realized how, nasty, how mean, and how fake the press can be.”
“That line drew audible groans from the audience of 1,600 in the WEF Congress Center.”
OK, so Comrade Stupid met everyone’s low expectations. He didn’t fling poo at them or threaten to nuke anyone, nor did he shove himself to the front for a photo-op or sneak off to be starry-eyed with Puooty-Poot. So far, I have not read anything about him calling another country a shithole. So there’s that.
But there’s still time.