News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

WAAAAAAH! Tony Perkins’ fee-fees are hurt following his astonishing admission that the Xristian Xrazies are hypocrites and full of…

“What most liberals don’t seem to understand is that when Christians went to the voting booth, they didn’t choose a leader based on personality — but policy. And on everything from life and religious liberty to the military and Supreme Court, he hasn’t proven conservatives wrong. Now, our support for the president isn’t unconditional, but until he gives us reason to doubt, Trump’s actions only reinforce the decision most of us made in 2016. Obviously, the Left wants to shame Christians for the president’s past moral failings. The goal is the same as always: marginalize and stigmatize conservatives so that they disengage or lose focus. Don’t let them. Influence is a two-way straight. Never underestimate yours in bringing this president along on the values that matter most.”

So, what, exactly did ol’ Tony “Why Did God Flood My House Like A Common ‘Mo” Perkins say that has him racing for a do-over on the Russian Usurper?

Perkins knows about Stormy Daniels, the porn actress who claimed, in a 2011 interview, that in 2006 she had sex with Trump four months after his wife, Melania, gave birth to their son, Barron. He knows of the reports that Daniels (real name: Stephanie Clifford) was paid off to keep the affair quiet in the waning weeks of the 2016 election. He knows about the cursing, the lewdness and the litany of questionable behavior over the past year of Trump’s life or the 70 that came before it.

“We kind of gave him—‘All right, you get a mulligan. You get a do-over here,’” Perkins told me in an interview for the latest episode of POLITICO’s Off Message podcast.

You bet you did, Tony.

Say, why did Gawd flood your house?

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4 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Osirisopto says:

    Perkins would hold the child down for trump for power.

    Remember the xtians converted the heathens before killing them so they could be judged by their god.

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  2. roket says:

    “Yes. It’s his policies. We will go with that. Especially his racist policies. Those are our favorites,” Tony failed to mention.

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  3. RWW says:

    “Mulligan” sounds awfully Catholic. Perkins doesn’t really want to go there, does he?

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  4. Pupienus Maximus says:

    Michael Steele:

    “I have very simple admonition: just shut the hell up and don’t preach to me about anything ever again. I don’t want to hear it, because after telling me who to love, what to believe, what to do and what not to do and now you sit back and the prostitutes don’t matter, the grabbing the you-know-what doesn’t matter, the outright behavior and lies don’t matter, just shut up!”

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