Happy Hour News Briefs
Hey guys, remember Janet (née Folger) Porter, the crazy lady from Judge Roy Moore’s doomed campaign? We’ve been mocking Porter since back when she was a Folger. Anyway, let’s listen to what she has to say to our old pal Dr. Chaps:
Porter brags that her stupid heart beat bill (which Gov. Kasich signed, thanks a lot) is actually a Trojan Horse (see what I did there), because as technology improves, we’ll be able to detect heartbeats sooner and sooner, and then, WHAMMO! No more abortions ever again, the end. Heartbeats will be heard before the woman even knows that she’s preggers, and no family planning for you. Slut.
So yes, we are awarding the Golden Schlafly to Janet (née Folger) Porter for excellence in Women Setting Back Women! She’s a strong contender for 2018 right outta the gate!