Deal or No Deal? (The Kobayashi Maru Sails Again)

It’s all a crap shoot (see what I did there>)

So the question on everyone in the political media’s hive mind is whether or not the Federal Government is going to shut down by Friday.

Tiger Beat on the Potomac (thanks Charlie!) morning email thingie tells us…

BASED ON WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT CONGRESS, there is a zero percent chance that a deal can be reached at this point and passed this week.

RULE OF THUMB: Congress typically needs three or so days to review a big legislative package.

They say the big question now is whether or not they can even pass a short-term bill to keep the lights on for another month. And no one has any idea.

The Republicans control the entire apparatus of the government, so it would be difficult for them to not own this, but they will be trying to pin the blame on the Dims.

Again, Tiger Beat:

Ryan is a big-picture guy who disdains Congressional drama. A government shutdown would be nettlesome for him, to say the least. He and his leadership team are seeing projections that they could lose something like 40 seats — which would cost them their majority. A shutdown does not do him any good. It’s simple for Ryan: if he can find 218 Republicans who will stick together, he can make Democrats irrelevant. If not, he has to deal.

HOUSE MINORITY LEADER NANCY PELOSI: House Republicans passed the last short-term funding bill without House Democrats. If they are able to thread the needle again — which is still a big if — Pelosi and House Democrats will be largely irrelevant to the debate this week. If Republicans need Democrats to keep the government open, watch to see what she does to try to extract some sort of promise on DACA.

Despite the chatter from the president, Democratic leaders need a DACA deal as badly as anyone. Pelosi has been promising her caucus that she would solve this issue since September. Pelosi and Ryan — who share a cordial, but not especially warm relationship — have similar internal dynamics. There’s a healthy contingent in Pelosi’s caucus that’s skeptical of her legislative strategy. A DACA deal would help quiet that pocket — and give Pelosi a win.

So the question is, why cannot Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Paul Ryan hold together 218 Republicans? I’ll give you a clue from Comrade Racist, who is perhaps now the world’s best known shithouse inspector: immigration.

  • The Senate Dims say that they will not vote for a budget if the Dreamers are not protected, somehow.
  • The New Confederacy Wing of the GOP are not waiting for some gang of half a dozen senators to write an AMNESTY!!!1! bill that they will loathe.

House Freedom Caucus Rep. Bob Goodlatte wrote his OWN hateful bill, which:

  • pushes the Dreamers to the end of the line for citizenship
  • eliminates sanctuary cities (states rights!!1! be damned!!1!)
  • eliminates chain migration
  • eliminates the diversity visa lottery
  • increases border security
  • requires employers to verify all of their workers’ legal status

The New Confederacy wants to hold a floor vote and send it to the Senate before the Senate can amnesty-ize (is too a verb!) them non-Norwegian illegals. If ZEGS brings the bill up for a vote, he might get 218 Republicans to vote for it, but no Dims.

Senate Dims want to protect the Dreamers  or they won’t vote for the budget, so passing the House’s hate-filled authoritarian bill will cause a government shutdown on Friday. And if ZEGS doesn’t bring the bill up for a vote, the Freedom Caucus will try to unseat him.

So it’s the Kobayashi Maru (again) for Paul Ryan. Somewhere, weepy ol’ John Boehner is laughing his orange ass off, swigging the Merlot from the bottle and smoking a pack of ciggiebutts.


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11 Responses to Deal or No Deal? (The Kobayashi Maru Sails Again)

  1. Retiredeng says:



  2. Osirisopto says:

    “, but they will be trying to pin the blame on the Dims”

    And the media will do all they can to help them achieve that goal.

    ’cause everybody knows it’s Clintons fault.


  3. MDavis says:

    I know it is naive, but I really don’t get why this particular sausage cannot be made on a “we *need* to keep the gov’t running” basis. You know, because people will like starve or get evicted with the shut down.
    (Cue the movie montage with the would-be murderer dragging the struggling victim into the bathroom where the tub is already full, tap on, water flowing over the edges…)

    Liked by 1 person

    • People starving or gettigng evicted because they’re not getting help from the gummint is a bonus for the House Freedumb Sadist Caucus


      • MDavis says:

        People starving or getting evicted because they’re not getting help from the gummint the annuity payouts that they paid for over their decades of working…
        See, it isn’t that I don’t get it, it is that I don’t, um, “grasp” it I guess? Especially the part where people – those supporters – forget all about that paying into the system for decades thing and buy the snake oil of unearned handouts that “those people” won’t be getting. They don’t seem to get that they are all “those people” to these reptilian bastids.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Condi says:

    The Republicans will lie to the Democrats about a later deal on DACA. The (spineless) Democrats will pretend to believe the Republicans and another CR will be passed.

    Rinse, repeat as necessary.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. roket says:

    Deficits don’t matter, and neither do bull markets when republicans are in charge. I suspect some of them also pee towards the wind.


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