News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Our Lady of Bountiful Pasta and Good Show Wear, Cindy Jacobs, prophesizes (is too a verb!) some good news for 2018! Let’s listen as she nasally brays to us:

Got that? Cindy Jacobs tells North Korea’s dictator Kim Jung Un that God will remove him from office unless he accepts Jeebus as his savior, which would be a pretty great trick considering that the Kim dynasty are self-declared divine beings. You know, much the same way that Cindy Jacobs has declared herself a prophet.

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7 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Jim says:

    I love it when self-declared divine beings and prophets get all up in each others spaces. Much like the sexy dramas of the Greek gods and the Old Testament angry God always messing around with the Jews and their enemies. So idiotic.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Perturbation says:

    Cindy Jacobs keeps using facial expressions. I don’t think they mean what she thinks they mean.

    (Much like the orange shitgibbon’s hand gestures — they don’t mean anything, they’re just a robotic facsimile of the way humans communicate.)

    Like

  3. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Crap, now I am picturing Kim Jong Un becoming a televagelist, and selling buckets of gochujang flavored potato slop.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. paul fredine says:

    i think i have more faith in the long island medium than in this self-proclaimed ‘profit’. they’re cut from the same cloth.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. roket says:

    She means well. Bless her heart.

    Like

  6. Feline Mama says:

    So, she’s worried about Un being removed from office? Is that correct? Hmm. OK then. SAD!

    Like

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