(World Nut) News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

I detect a new conspiracy theory…

Could this be the end of World Nut Daily?!!1!*

“I’m asking you to help us in this time of need. It’s not easy to make a plea like this to you, our faithful readers, and I do so in all humility.

“I’ll lay it out for you straight. We need to raise a minimum of $100,000 before Jan. 30.

 

What will it be used for?

“I can’t go into all the details of the problems we are facing – some are global (like the major drop in ad revenues for news websites) and some are specific to WND – but I will mention one thing you probably didn’t know.”

Oh? the ol’ Trust Me routine? really?

“The deck is stacked against the independent media, and not just due to attacks and boycotts by the cultural elite, and lawsuits intended to silence us (like the one against us by the Muslim Brotherhood front group CAIR). It’s also more hidden things like the powerful, left-leaning Google-Facebook media complex actively and shamelessly writing algorithms with the intent of minimizing access to WND, with its pro-American, pro-Constitution, pro-biblical worldview the progressive elite find so offensive.”

Um, Google-Facebook helped get your boy, Comrade Stupid elected, you ignorant turnip. They are co-conspirators with the rest of the right-wing media, including WND. (Also, pro-Constitution and pro-biblical world view are actually kinda in opposition to one another, Joseph.)

Well, the role that World Nut Daily plays as ground-zero of conspiracy theories is kinda played out all over the innernets and the cable teevee stations, and on the Facebook and Googles, too. So not sure how or why we would miss you except that it is one less fat target to check on my daily rounds.

*Betteridge’s Law of Headlines is in effect: NO.

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10 Responses to (World Nut) News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Jim says:

    What I thought: who would miss WND when the same shit is all over the internet anyway. Their business model is obsolescent.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. roket says:

    I anxiously await their article about the evils of the free market system. That would be entertaining.

    Like

  3. E.A. Blair says:

    Welcome to the free market, assholes.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dude. Your clients are dying, and they are losing their jobs, and coal ain’t coming back. And stupid don’t have money. See if Bannon has some extra scratch.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Okay, but I am drinking in celebration….

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Osirisopto says:

    Ah, the Swaggart manouver.

    Like

  7. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Why bother with WND when Infowars delivers it pure, directly into your carotid artery?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oblios_Cap says:

    Great! Now idiots can’t post links to their “articles” on my Facebook page.

    Like

Comments are closed.