News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

There are no big hands when it is Trump Time!

Alex Jones presses the small-fingered vulgarian’s red button:

“Now the media went into conniption fits and the headlines from MSNBC are Trump’s sexual obsessions may destroy the earth. They’re the ones saying hey we got a bigger nuclear button than you, we got a bigger arsenal, more powerful, and it works. Nothing to do with the media trying to say the president has small genitals. And by the way he doesn’t even have small hands, and by the way that’s a cliche, and a wives’ tale, and not even true as well. Medical doctors will tell you it’s the feet size. But the point is — that it’s more comparable. And that’s not even an exact metric.”

Whip ’em out boys and measure ’em.

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2 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    Alex Jones seems really concerned about dick size here… I would be irresponsible to speculate that he’s dealing with his own penile anxieties, but I don’t claim to be a member of the party of personal responsibility.

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