The Magic 8-Ball Looks At 2018, Wants To Go Back To Sleep

“I for one welcome our new overlords,” Paul Ryan didn’t opportunistically say.

While everyone is treating their hang-overs, I thought maybe we should guess the biggest stories of 2018 so we can laugh at it later when it turns out that Space Aliens invading blows all the predictions to hell:

  1. Little Kremlin-on-the-Potomac: either Mueller Ain’t Going Away (MAGA!) or he is, and if he ain’t, then he’s gotta start closing the noose as it were. Which leads us to…
  2. Wag-the-dog: look for some sort of Guns & God event trumped up by Commander Stupid to distract us and protect himself. North Korea?  Jeebus, take the wheel!
  3. The Economy and it’s evil twin The GOP Tax Cuts: the obvious bubble we are in is gonna burst sometime, so why not this year? And given how all the loose change we’ve been allowed is being sucked out of the seat cushions and given to people who don’t need it, a crash seems likely. Which leads us to…
  4. The Mid-term elections (which I dub the 2018 Pie Fight). If a recession hits, then its assured that the Trickle-downers will be cast out. All the mathy types looking at the polling suggests that this will be a Blue wave year. Which leads us to…
  5. Voter Suppression and other GOP dirty tricks. Look, I want to get at least one of these predictions right, and as sure as the Swallows return to San Juan Capistrano, the Republicans will be eff’ing the ol’ rat (“$20, same as in town”). Take that to the bank.

Any predictions? In the comments!

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10 Responses to The Magic 8-Ball Looks At 2018, Wants To Go Back To Sleep

  1. Steve-O says:

    I predict that I will drink a great deal of whiskey this year.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Mister Fox says:

    I think you’re right about cornered Orangeman nuking NK just to distract people. Someone should start advertising backyard fallout shelters on Book of Faces just to see how many people bite on it.
    Lots, I bet.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. HarpoSnarx says:

    I expect the Dims to run like it’s 2010.

    Like

  4. lahru says:

    Fear is a powerful motivator and many Americans are scared and will vote accordingly.

    Like

  5. Sirius Lunacy says:

    I predict the first attempt at distraction will be sending hundreds of millions of dollars worth of cruise missiles into Iran. It would make his Russian friend happy, it would make his Saudi friend happy and it would even make the ayatollahs happy. Trump will see it as a good way to get in with the despot and dictator crowd that he so desperately wants to join.

    Like

  6. Condi says:

    Both the Queen Mum and Bush the Ancient lay down for their dirt naps. Sad, but really, how long can one hang on?

    Like

  7. Zentropy and his faithfull dog Shiva says:

    -Meuller will have a very good case and nothing will be done by congress, there will be severe rioting in some areas with violent results (that will be cheered on my the usual suspects that the MSM will join in on–think ‘serious’ talk show flunkies and the same appeasers for the establishment) will be just enough change that will sate the masses for a little bit longer…
    -The hackers will overstep and one of the elections will be way outside the margin of error that may be too obvious to ignore and Ry-Connell (a bad MST3K show waiting to happen–with Joe Don Baker as Steve Bannon!!!) will stir the pot but do nothing
    -There will be well written tee-tee shows that should make us think about the issues of today and develop empathy and understanding; all the while, the neighbor across the street still won’t wave back and the fear of ‘those people’ will continue (have a retired Bernie supporter on one side of the house and a retired Fox news watcher on the other–we are nuthin’ if not diversified here in my pocket of an incredibly red state)
    -Trump will change the gold standard to presidential Trump Coins and throw the world market into chaos. Marijuana bucks and the underground munchie market will sustain the west coast

    Former Bay Area resident (Fremont & San Jose) living in the Mid-West and have always appreciated the site, thank you and have a great new year!

    Like

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