News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

It’s our pal Kurt Schlichter, again. I screencapped this post at BlogWire (the blog-like thingie of Mat Barber) because I was so tickled that it has zero shares of any kind.

Let the mocking begin!

When we gather together this Christmas, it’s going to be super-awkward since everybody is dead because Donald Trump pulled out of the Paris Climate Scam, repealed net neutrality, and cut taxes. The depredations of Genghis Khan, the Black Plague, and the repeal of the Obamacare mandate – these are pretty much the same thing. Santa Claus and all of our dreams are dead too.

Yup, the trade-marked Schlicter humor. Which is notable for the lack of the funny. On the plus side, he totally killed at the Vogon stand-up clubs: according to his bio, he used to be a comic. Past tense. Continue with your A-material, sir!

On the plus side, since we are all dead there’s no one to make egg nog, which is the worst of all possible nogs.

You know what these eggs need? Some milk. And then rum.

“What a country,” as Yakov would say.

No. Whoever invented egg nog is the second grossest human being ever who is not Lena Dunham, exceeded in grossness only by the first person being who thought, “Look, an oyster! I know. I’ll put that slimy thing in my mouth.

The Democrats are the egg nog of American politics. Discuss.

Methinks he could have written the Vanity Fair hobby tips for Hillary. Discuss!

Now, if you want some funny, I’d go to Wonkette who has the latest on Milo Yappypapaya and his lawsuit against Simon & Schuster including the out-takes from his editor and a sly game of American Psycho. I was going to write something on this (hat tip: Scissorhead Purplehead), but they got their first and did a top notch job.

Kurt will be at the Vogon Laff Factory all week! Come for the jokes, stay for the poetry!




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5 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. M. Bouffant says:

    Not only no shares there, have you noticed that Schlichter’s stuff shows up on memeoranDUMB, & just sits there all by itself, w/o any “Discussion” or “RELATED” entries. The schaden is freuded!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Next, he expounded at length on the differences between men and women, and then did a solid five on airline food….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. another kiwi says:

    He just cain’t quit Lena, though.


  4. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    That Yappinpotomus story has got to be the best schadenfreude ever. I love the fact that he was pissing away Mercer money on second-tier beauty products, which didn’t work.


  5. I sure hope the S&S has good worker’s comp, because I believe the editors’ present need for a new liver could well be construed as a work-related injury…


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