K-Street Lobbyists arrive.

I bring you tidings of Hope, Scissorheads. All is not lost. At least not yet.

The Pantheon of Dunces will vote on Monday to start a final negotiation — called a conference — to reconcile the differences between the House and the Senate bills, which means that this thing is not really over.

The differences between the House and Senate bills are YUGE. Every time one side or the other gives up something (under pressure from constituents or more likely DONORS), then an agreement also has to be reached on some sort of counter-balance, because in the end this turd must come within their budget (admittedly that’s a TRILLION+ red-ink Ameros).

The whole ugly thing has to come back for a final vote!

So let’s game this out:

One) The Senators and Representatives who voted nay on the current versions of the bills are going to remain nays. If they were bribable, they would already have been bribed; I mean Joe Manchin (reliable bi-partisan fig leaf) wasn’t even bribable this time! They are soooo going to be hearing from their donors!

And B) The minions who voted yea are not committed to remain yeas. They are going to be hearing a lot from their constituents who will be gathering Tiki torches back home. Susan Collins’ head will not look good on a pike back in Westeros.

Also/too, amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell slithered out of his tree and offered apples er, bribes, er, promises to get a yea from Jeff Flake, Susan Collins, and Lisa Murkowski; if they do not get their 30 pieces of silver, they can demand their pound of flesh and withold their votes when it really counts.

Too/Also: the individuals who voted for either bill may have voted just to keep this rat moving through the snake (so to speak), knowing that it was not a final decision.

Zombie-eyed Granny-starver Paul Ryan farted out his bill with nine votes to spare, amply be-chinned Mitch McConnell shat out his with just one to spare and the Fat Termite ready to break the tie. They have to keep those numbers and it will be harder this time, that’s what I’m saying.

In the meanwhile, according to the WaPo we have winners and LOSERS! Sad!

P.S. — I never thought that my high school civics award(s) would ever be so useful. I’d like to thank my teachers (if I could remember their names) and School House Rock.

UPDATE 1: E-Z P-Z:

What has to be worked out, per Axios’ Caitlin Owens:

• The alternative minimum tax: At the last minute, the Senate bill kept the AMT on corporations. It also raised the exemption for the individual AMT, instead of repealing each. The House bill completely repeals both.
• The SALT (state and local tax) deduction: Both the House and the Senate limit the deduction for property taxes to $10,000. But some House members are likely to want more.
• The pass-through rate: The Senate bill allows pass-through corporations (small businesses that file taxes on their owner’s return) to deduct 23% of business income, while the House created a 25% rate for business income (and a 9% rate for lower-income individuals).
• ACA individual mandate: The Senate repeals it. The House doesn’t, although it has signaled that it’ll be kept in the bill in conference.
• Estate tax: The House doubles the size of the estate tax exemption, then repeals the tax after 2024. The Senate doubles the exemption until the tax sunsets beginning in 2026.
• Individual rates: The House has 4 rates and keeps the current top rate of 39.6%. The Senate has 7 rates and a top rate of 38.5%. There are also differences in the child tax credit value and the standard deduction, and everything on the individual side in the Senate sunsets beginning in 2026.
• Mortgage interest deduction: The House lowers the cap to $500,000, while the Senate keeps it at $1 million.