News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Z is for Zodiac, a letter in Cruz’ name!

Smarmy Ayatollah Ted Cruz knows an Elmer Gantry style grifter when he sees one, and so for a while he endorsed Roy Moore (professional courtesy? Yes.), but, alas and alack! no more:

“As it stands, I can’t urge the people of Alabama to support a campaign in the face of these charges without serious, persuasive demonstration that the charges are not true,” the Texas Republican told reporters, according to a Texas Tribune reporter.

“Both last week and this week, there are serious charges of criminal conduct that if true, not only make him unfit to serve in the Senate but merit criminal prosecution,” he added.

Which leads us, naturally, to seek out THE REAL TRUTH! And luckily for us, Coach Dave is here to ‘splain it:

Listen-up Sheeple! It goes all the way to the top! It’s so obvious, you see, the Bible! the Constitution! the 14th amendment! slavery! Natural Born! Free Willy! 9-11! Grassy Knoll!

This entry was posted in Ayatollah Ted Cruz, Coach Dave, conspiracy theories, Roy Moore, snark, Theocrats. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. moeman says:

    cruz has young daughters that find him skeevy.

    Like

  2. More preceptive than their mother. With luck and perseverance, they may be able to escape his gravity well and develop their humanity.

    Like

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