News That Will Drive You To Drink

Happy Hour News Briefs

Before you read from our Children’s Anthology of Fart Jokes selection tonight, I would advise you to recall Tengrain’s Rule of PeeCee: Whenever conservatives blame anything on being politically correct, what they mean is that Civil Rights got in their way.

With that aside, let us begin. The Hollywood Reporter, uh, reports: Phil Robertson to Star in New Show That Will “Reject Political Correctness” (Exclusive)

Phil Robertson is getting his own show again, and it promises to be much more of a vehicle for his irreverent take on politics than Duck Dynasty ever was.

Robertson is joining CRTV, a $99-a-year digital network where its most popular shows are hosted by conservative commentators Mark Levin, Steven Crowder and Michelle Malkin.

The show is dubbed In the Woods With Phil, and in a clip provided exclusively to The Hollywood Reporter, the star alludes to when A&E briefly suspended him from Duck Dynasty for offensive comments in a GQ story.

And that’s really all you need to know. I had no idea Malkkkin was working other than, you know $20 bucks, same as in town. Do continue.

Robertson says that he plans on rejecting “political correctness” with his new show: “For far too long we have been told to shut up. No more. Here’s the deal, America. These are my woods. Out here, I call the shots. Out here, we reject political correctness, or as I like to say, ‘pontificated crap.’”

So it sounds like it will be a sure hit with the paste-eating set in Possum Hollar. Grifters Gotta Grift.

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9 Responses to News That Will Drive You To Drink

  1. Big Bad Bald Bastard says:

    His woods, his rules… I imagine there’s a lot of squirrel-fucking going on.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. roket says:

    Into The Wood with Phil (and fire)


  3. They might as well call this show Bigotry Hour.


  4. Mr DeBakey says:

    “CRTV, a $99-a-year digital network”

    That’s a lot of empties to the depot. Gonna hafta put new plugs in the 4 by 4.


  5. Osirisopto says:

    Malkkin would have to me. And it would cost her more than $20.


  6. E.A. Blair says:

    Thankfully, I won’t accidentally tune into this while flipping through channels.


  7. vonBeavis says:

    Possum Hollar ain’t got $99 a year for a comfortable wrapping of right wing hate. More for the suburban to city dwelling troglodytes.


  8. paul fredine says:

    would one be considered a bad person for hoping his beard gets caught in a wood chipper? asking for a friend.


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