Some Cream for Your Covfefe
- Yesterday unrepentant racist Jefferson Beauregard ‘Stonewall’ Sessions III announced he was gonna follow the rule of law and boxcar 800,000 exemplary young people outta the country.
- Self-deportation is now a thing. Willard is smiling.
- Hurricane Irma is upgraded to a Category 5 with 185 —200 MPH winds. (There is no higher category, but many meteorologists say that this would be it if there was something higher.)
- Reporters forgot that America includes US Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico and only talked about how Irma was going to soon hit the United States in the Florida Keys
- Junkie Limbaugh said that Irma was being hyped in the FAKE NEWS!!1! to “advance this climate change agenda.” We note that Junkie Limbaugh lives in Florida.
- A bipartisan group of senators are introducing a resolution that “[rejects] white nationalists, white supremacists, the Ku Klux Klan, neo-Nazis, and other hate groups” and send the document to Hair Führer, which will force him to condemn hate groups.