The tweet below got me thinking about all the You’re Fired’ings going on in Comrade Preznint Stupid’s White house. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, you know, just some highlights and greatest hits of the last six months
In 6 months Trump has gone through
• 2 chiefs of staff
• 2 comms directors
• 2 national security advisors
The man loves getting two scoops!
— Dan Diamond (@ddiamond) July 28, 2017
- Press secretary Sean ‘Angry Inch’ Spicer quit in disgust, which came shortly after his second communications director Mike Dubke quit in disgust.
- Hair Führer’s new communications director, Smoochie, called Ryan Lizza of the New Yorker and leaked (on the record) that then-Chief of Staff and obvious anagram Reince Priebus is a “paranoid schizophrenic,” that Trump’s top advisor Steve Bannon “sucks his own cock,” and added that he wanted “to kill” the rest of Trump’s staff for leaking.
- Trump’s “paranoiac” chief of staff was just You’re Fired.
- Comrade Stupid had to fire possible Russian agent Mike Flynn, his first national security advisor, who is probably going to jail and is most likely in plea negotiations to avoid that fate.
- Putin’s Order of Friendship Award-winner and Secretary of State Rexxon is rumored to be resigning out of frustration with Comrade Preznint Stupid (and his staff of jackals).
- Secretary of the Interior Ryan Zinke tried to put the proverbial horse’s head into the bed of Lisa Murkowski, the senator with the most influence over his department.
- Comrade Stupid wants to fire his beleaguered attorney general Jefferson Beauregard ‘Stonewall’ Sessions III who is pissed at him.
- Secretary of Energy smartypants glasses wearer Rick ‘3 Departments oops’ Perry, who is in charge of our nuclear arsenal spent a half hour on Bart Simpson-style prank call with someone whom he thought was Ukraine’s prime minister, Volodymyr Groysman. “Is there a Willma Ballsdrop here?”
- The Russian Usurper’s former campaign chairman Paul Manafort is likely going to jail and is most likely in plea negotiations to avoid that fate.
- Lenny/Squiggy/Udsay/Quday (whichever one is which) leaked himself that he had tried to talk to Russian spies about getting dirt on the Hillarybeast.
- Squiggy was turned in by Trump’s Fratsputin who also met with Russian spies.
- The entire Trump Crime Family have lawyered-up, including The First Shady Ivanka.
I’m probably missing 4 or 5 personnel issues, if anyone remembers anything else, let me know in the comments.